


Insouciance

by Kizuna_Tallis



Series: A Carefree Worry [1]
Category: The Office (US)
Genre: (for Andy), (for the most part), Andy and Erin have grown up some, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, Character Development, Cunnilingus, Darryl is also a cinnamon roll, Erin has abandonment issues, F/M, Feels, Fluff and Angst, Growing Up, Harassment, Headcanon, Mild deconstruction, Pam and Jim are nice stable cinnamon rolls, Past Relationship(s), Post-Canon, Post-Canon Fix-It, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Reflection, Vaginal Sex, reality ensues a bit
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-19
Updated: 2018-09-01
Packaged: 2019-05-08 21:52:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 28,831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14703096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kizuna_Tallis/pseuds/Kizuna_Tallis
Summary: A year has passed since "The Office" documentary aired, and everyone's lives have profoundly changed, with some more bittersweet than others. Andy and Erin have undergone many changes of their own over that year. They both convinced themselves they’ve moved on, that it wasn’t meant to be. But the one-year anniversary reunion will bring old feelings back out into the open, forcing them to contend with an unresolved past that won’t let go.





	1. Prologue: New Life Chapters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A year has passed since the documentary aired. Andy and Erin's lives, like all the others', have profoundly changed, for better in some ways and for worse in others.

It wasn’t easy in those early days.

 

Ever since the documentary of their lives aired out and became an unexpected hit, Erin had been dealt with far more attention than she ever thought possible. She could now certainly see why the celebrities always had big bodyguards and covered their faces whenever they went outside. But it wasn’t that people were pushing cameras in her face or constantly asking her for an autograph; sure she got that, but she would’ve preferred just that over the other, worse part of the attention _The Office_ got her.

 

At first, many viewers loved her. They found her sweet, funny, and sympathetic in her search for her long-lost birth parents and quest for love and happiness. But then the last few episodes came out, airing out everything that happened with her and Andy and Pete. It just started with a few angry posts on Twitter, nothing too bad that Erin couldn’t ignore. But soon, she began to get angry messages on her email accounts, and even actual hate letters calling her all kinds of cruel horrible names.

 

_Tears came to Erin’s eyes. It was only three days since that episode showing her and Andy’s break-up had aired, but already she saw at least fifty tweets and messages, and none of them were the slightest bit nice._

You’re a selfish bitch!! How could you hurt Andy like that!?!?!

This is the face of a Slut. 

FUCKING WHORE!!!!

I’l’ rape u nxt time I see u cunt

This ho here ain’t loyal.

 

_And too many more._

 

_There was also an email message with pictures of mutilated animals, and she counted eighteen emails from random men sending her pictures of their penises. Erin saw how Pam and Nellie cringed next to her, all color drained from the other women’s faces._

 

_“What do I do?” Erin asked, hands shaking._

 

_Pam shook her head and replied, “I’m not really sure.” That didn’t help Erin’s already rock-bottom spirits and the glare Nellie gave Pam drove her to quickly add, “But I think it’s probably for the best that you should stay off the Internet for a while.”_

 

_Nellie reached around and took the mouse for Erin’s computer. “Well, the joke is on them. Tonight, with this, I’ll be making some good dough as you Americans call it,” Nellie said as she forwarded the emails to her own email. Erin and Pam looked at her in confusion, leading to Nellie to clarify, “Oh, it’s my side job - I send a picture of a man’s genitals over to this gay porn website and I get ten dollars for each picture. And this here is a veritable goldmine.”_

 

_“Here's the important question,” Meredith dropped in. “You ever sent any of your boyfriends nude pics?”_

 

  _Pam’s jaw dropped at the crude question, but Erin, through an intense blush, stammered, “N-no. No-no, I never did any of that.”_

 

  _Meredith nodded approvingly at that. “Good girl.”_

 

  _As she walked away, Erin and Pam looked at each other, silently agreeing they did not want to know whatever the sordid details of that was and they would not speak of it again, all the while Nellie was calculating how much she would get for all the pictures._

 

It only got worse. Death threats actually came in, hecklers yelling stuff at her, and even a phone call from an especially angry man who made all sorts of lewd and crude threats at her. Going to the police was useless and they didn’t think it was anything serious. The rest of the office, Jim and Pam especially, were the only source of support she had in all this in all that, as well as successfully convincing Dwight to beef up security at the office.

 

_It was a normal Wednesday until she got that call around 2:30. Reed had called and he was frantic, to put it lightly._

 

_“Reed, slow down and talk clearly! What is going on?” she asked. The rest of the office looked at her with concern._

 

_On the other side of the line, Reed replied, “I don’t know exactly, but apparently, someone has tracked down our address and made a fake call to the police, and they sent a full SWAT team to our apartment!”_

 

_Erin’s heart sank at this, barely comprehending as her foster brother kept talking. No one was home at the time, thankfully. But he was not taking this well, especially because he did read about how those things went. She shook her head, took a deep breath, and quickly said, “I’m coming home right now, just wait for me. Bye.”_

 

_“What’s going on, Erin? Is everything okay?” Pam asked, face full of concern._

 

_Once Erin was finished explaining the situation, everyone gasped. Even Stanley was shaken._

 

_“I need to leave right now,” Erin said in a shaky voice. “I need to talk with the police… and I don’t know… I got to do something. And Reed needs help…”_

 

_“I’ll come with you,” Dwight immediately offered, grabbing his coat and suitcase._

 

_“You sure, Dwight?” Erin asked. “I don’t want you to have to-”_

 

_“It’s fine, Erin. You need help, and I’ll help you,” he said firmly._

 

_Pam took Jim’s arm and softly added, “You should go with them, too, Jim. I think this is going to need some more hands to help. I’ll hold down the fort here while you’re out.”_

 

_"Got it," Jim agreed with a quick nod, grabbing his coat and bag as he joined Erin and Dwight to sort out this mess._

 

_When they got to Erin’s apartment, to say the scene was chaotic would be an understatement. There were large armored SWAT trucks strewn around the area, cop cars, police officers trying to sort things out as the SWAT team grumbled about time wasted over what turned out to be a malicious prank, and angry neighbors giving out earfuls to beleaguered officers._

 

_“Good God…” Jim breathed in astonishment. As Reed ran up to Erin, looking frazzled and frantic as he filled her in on the details and Dwight went off to confer with the police sheriff, Jim was left to contemplate things._

 

_“Is there any low they won’t go?” he asked no one in particular._

 

_A nearby police officer that happened to be eavesdropping replied, “Nope, there really isn’t.”_

 

_That was not a very encouraging answer. Jim approached Erin, who was now in a circle consisting of herself, Reed, Dwight, the SWAT leader and the sheriff, discussing things._

 

_“What do you suggest, Sheriff? I would believe she wouldn’t be safe staying here anymore,” Dwight pointed out._

 

_“Indeed, she wouldn’t,” the sheriff concurred before turning to Erin. “Personally, Miss Hannon, I’d recommend you should probably stay with a friend until this blows over, if not relocate altogether.”_

 

_“Move?” Erin asked in shock. “That’s going to take a lot of work.”_

 

_“Well, actually,” Reed cut in, “the timing’s not too inconvenient. The lease here is about to expire, and you’ve been talking about getting your own place a lot.”_

 

_“Yeah,” Erin nodded, “but not like this. And who am I going to stay with until I get a new place?”_

 

_“You can’t stay with Pete?” Jim asked._

 

_“No,” Erin replied dejectedly. “His roommates… don’t really like me much.”_

 

_“You can stay in my guest house,” Dwight offered. Before anyone could raise possible objections, he quickly added, “And you need not worry, there are modern amenities including plumbing and electricity in there.”_

 

 _So for the next three weeks, Erin stayed in Dwight’s guest house. It wasn’t as bad as she’d feared, and it helped that Mose didn’t act like a total weirdo around her. With Pam’s help, she was able to quickly find a new apartment._  

_Erin had always looked forward to the day when she would finally have her own apartment. She loved Reed, but he was often messy and she wanted to live like an independent adult._

 

_But she didn’t like that it to be like this. Being forced to move to another place because someone tracked down her address and sent a SWAT team in there._

 

_Jim, Dwight, and Pete had assembled and sorted out her new furniture while Pam and Nellie carried up the boxes of Erin’s few possessions. Erin was truly grateful for their help in this. And it was a nice apartment too._

 

_But as she began sorting out her clothes in the closet (her own closet! She was supposed to be happy about that!), she couldn’t help but back to that one incredibly rude salesman at the IKEA she went to a couple weeks ago. How he barely helped her, made passive-aggressive remarks about the size of the bed she wanted to buy as if that had to do with anything…_

 

_She decided to just buy it all online. At least she didn’t have to deal with people that way._

 

Even with the change in address and added security guards, Erin still didn’t feel completely safe at times. During the first month in her new apartment, she slept with the lights on.

 

Her safety and sense of privacy weren’t the only things taken away either.

 

Pete just couldn’t handle it. He tried to stand firm against the wave of anger and hate, but the Internet was not afraid to go low. He and some of his family members got doxxed, he would get hate mail of his own, and some especially terrible people from his past attempted to trash talk him to some tabloid. He similarly had to move to another apartment and also slept with the lights on for a couple weeks.

 

(He also hated that the “Plop” nickname stuck. So maybe in a way, Andy did get the last laugh on that.)

 

Still, they tried to make it work. They supported each other, helped each other. But it wasn’t easy when they were getting a constant deluge of angry messages and were expected by everyone to personally bear the burden of every angry brain-fart some random strangers had about their relationship that was all caught on camera. And it was hard! Constantly having to read messages from total strangers telling them what horrible people they were was painful and wore down on a person!

 

Watching themselves on the documentary didn’t help either, as Erin saw for herself how she had behaved through those times and it forced her to really reevaluate herself, that she should have handled it better.

 

And all of these combined to make the perfect ingredients to cause her and Pete to start fighting. They first started off small; a few instances of one snapping at the other in a state of extreme stress, followed by an apology about an hour later. But that too grew worse over time. Arguments over minor annoyances to bigger concerns grew in frequency and intensity. It got to the point they could barely speak to each other at work, much less in normal life.

 

_“What have I done?” was all Erin could ask herself._

 

 _Pete looked at her with a curious expression. They finally (at the behest of Darryl via Skype) got themselves to watch_ **_that_ ** _episode. And it was painful, he could see that. Watching oneself in a video recording was already surreal enough, but to also watch the start of a relationship and realize it didn’t have the best beginnings was a whole different feeling altogether._

 

_After a minute of awkward silence, Erin screamed._

 

 _“I_ **_am_ ** _a monster!” Erin sobbed. “They were right!”_

 

_“Erin,” Pete said to her reassuringly, “you’re not a monster-”_

 

_“I am!” she interrupted. “You saw it! I went behind his back, I was selfish! I… I told him to just get over it, when… when I couldn’t even do the same for him.”_

 

_Erin couldn’t talk anymore and kept crying. Pete had seen her cry in sadness before, but here… she was just so racked with guilt, shame and self-loathing._

 

_They broke her._

 

_Pete tried to put an arm around her to comfort her, to do something, but she swatted it away._

 

 _“Pete, please, don’t touch me right now!” she snapped, voice becoming uncharacteristically shrill. She didn't know why, but right now, the thought of him laying even a hand on her shoulder made her feel_ **_wrong_ ** _. Gross even._

 

_Pete withdrew away, now feeling at a loss. How was he supposed to comfort her if she wouldn’t even let him hug her?_

 

_He was shaken out of his thoughts when Erin’s phone began to ring._

 

_“Who is that?”_

 

_Erin looked at it and rolled her eyes, swiping over the “reject” button. She flatly said, “I don’t know. Caller ID said it’s from Minnesota, so probably another person wanting to tell me I’m a bad person.”_

 

_“Maybe you should change your number,” Pete recommended._

 

_“You can do that?” Erin asked with surprise._

 

_Pete’s expression changed from sad but supportive to… the only way to describe it would be that he wanted to ask if she was kidding him but wouldn’t say it._

 

_“Yes. Yes, you can, Erin,” he said with a sigh._

 

_At this time, Erin didn’t know why the way he talked to her there hurt her feelings. She would realize why a lot later._

 

It all came to a head when _Andy_ , of all people, came to their defense and posted a video on Youtube in which he angrily called out the people throwing death threats at her and Pete.

 

Erin and Pete had seen Andy angry plenty of times before, but never like in that video. His tone of voice was surprisingly even and calm in the beginning, only for him to steadily growl and shake with fury as he told the Internet bullies, people that claimed to be _his_ fans, to grow up and leave the two alone, all the while admitting to his own faults that contributed to the dissolution of his and Erin’s relationship. While it didn’t do much to stem the tide of rage and some people still mocked him (as this was at the height of the “Baby Waa-Waa” meme’s popularity), others (including Erin herself) found it an admirable move on his part.

 

After they saw it, Pete was the first to say something after a long minute of utter silence.

 

_“I don’t think this is going to work, Erin.”_

 

_“Wait, WHAT?!” Erin blurted out in shock. “What do you mean?!”_

 

_“Exactly what I said,” Pete answered. Pointing at the both of them, he continued, “This, us as a couple, this isn’t going to work.”_

 

_Erin’s jaw dropped in shock at that. She stuttered to find the right words, choking out and almost pleading, “I know it’s been hard, and I know it will still be hard, but I’m willing to stick it out with you. I really do like you, Pete!”_

 

 _Pete sadly smiled and replied, “But do you really, Erin? Do you really like_ **_me_ ** _, or did you just like that_ **_I_ ** _happened to be there when you needed someone?”_

 

_That question hit her like a ton of bricks. She was silent for about a full minute, which said more than any words could ever express._

 

_“You know I’m right, Erin,” he added sadly._

 

_Erin’s lip quivered as she tried to keep her tears at bay. Her voice shook as she weakly retorted, “We can make this work though, Pete. We can prove them wrong.” She loathed admitting she was trying to convince herself of this as much as she was trying to convince Pete._

 

_“The way this relationship started was already not super great, but having all this,” he said as he pointed at the computer screen, “doesn’t help. And trying to prove someone else wrong about your relationship… that sort of thing doesn’t work. We wouldn’t be happy like that. You should be with someone because you love them and want to be with them in the long run, not because you want to prove someone else wrong.”_

 

_Try as she might, she couldn’t find any argument against his points. It would be wrong to just stay together for the sake of proving some random strangers on the Internet wrong. And this relationship itself… it wasn’t terrible, but it wasn’t quite what Erin thought it would be either. The longer she got to know Pete, the more she began to see his less good aspects. And he probably saw hers too._

 

 _And the way it began… there was no dancing around it, she_ **_did_ ** _go behind Andy’s back. Sure, he left her and barely kept contact with her for those three months, but still, it wasn’t the best move on her part either. And relationships founded on cheating rarely ended well._

 

_“So… is this it then? Are we… breaking up?” she asked in a low voice._

 

_Pete nodded. “Yeah.”_

 

_Erin tightly squeezed her eyes shut, took a shaky breath, and solemnly nodded. “Okay then. I guess I’ll go then.” She got up, grabbed her bag and coat, and quickly walked towards the door. Before she was about to go, Pete came up next to her._

 

_“Look, Erin, I want you to know there’s really no hard feelings here. You’re a really nice person and a lot of fun to hang out with, and I hope we can still at least be friends and work together. I’m… I’m sorry.”_

 

_She could see that he didn't like doing this either, but his mind was made up. Erin suppressed the urge to groan, to cry, to scream, to slap him across the face. Instead, she smiled (as much as it strained her facial muscles to do so), nodded, and replied, “I know, Pete. Of course we can. Bye.” She then rushed out the door, got into her car, and sped off back to her place._

 

_She only started crying once she got back home._

 

 Over the next few months after that, she got herself together. She threw herself into her work, into self-improvement, into whatever helped get her mind away from the fact that her life was spinning out of control. The results from all that were… mixed, to say the least. Dwight was impressed with Erin’s new dedication to her work, giving her new responsibilities and even a pay increase. Oscar even trusted her with some parts of his campaign. And she discovered that she liked, of all things, kickboxing. In a way, it was therapeutic, kicking and punching at stuff and pretending she was hitting back at all those jerks who gave her such a hard time. The self-defense aspect and the fact it helped keep her toned were nice bonuses.

 

 _Erin huffed and wheezed, feeling like her lungs were about to jump out of her chest._  

 

_“Stop trying to hit me, and hit me!” barked the instructor. Erin looked up at the intimidating woman, this real life Amazon warrior who took no nonsense and could probably crush a walnut in between her buttcheeks._

 

_Erin tried to throw in another punch, but her limbs felt like limp noodles. She could only really make a pat against the instructor’s hand pad gear._

 

_“Use that anger! You have a rage you need to channel!”_

 

_Use her anger? Erin could feel that. She thought back to all those hurtful things people said to her, all the insults, the water bottles being thrown at her, how no one truly understood her pain, the past, her mistakes, **his** mistakes…_

 

_“ARRRGGHHH!!”_

 

_She heard a hard wump against the instructor’s hand pad. Amazon Lady smiled._

 

_“Good. Just like that.”_

 

And eventually, even the Internet bullying began to die down, mostly because the angry mobs got tired of bothering her and found someone new to direct their rage at. While she still got an angry email or message here and there, people on the whole eventually moved on. Some forgave her (or at least came to understand her, even if they didn’t approve of her actions). Others straight up apologized to her, stating her actions may not have been the coolest but she didn’t deserve any of the ridiculously toxic harassment and haranguing that plagued her. She greatly appreciated that.

 

However, this still left a stain on her life. For one thing, it turned out a lot of guys weren’t exactly jazzed about dating the office receptionist who went behind her boyfriend’s back, even if he was being a jerk too. And Scranton didn’t exactly offer a great selection of men to begin with. But it still hurt that she was having to pay for this action and likely would continue to pay for it for a long, long time.

 

* * *

 

It was still so surreal to Andy that for almost ten years of his life, he was filmed on a documentary. And then it became an unexpected hit, giving him a new lease on life. Sure, it wasn’t an easy road, and it was painful and twisted and he fell a lot. But he got back up, dusted himself off again, and kept going.

 

Going forward was all he could do.

 

_“So, what is this big news that you wanted to tell us?” Jim asked, seated across from Andy at the break room table in the corner. Pam was next to him. All three of them were chowing down on sandwiches and chips. Andy took a quick sip of his soda to wash down his mouthful before answering._

 

_“Well… I’m moving to New York. Ithaca to be exact. I’ll be leaving in three days,” Andy said to them._

 

_Jim and Pam looked taken aback by Andy’s announcement. “Well… wow, this is kind of out of the blue. Why would you be going there?” Pam asked._

 

_“The Cornell staff invited me actually,” Andy explained. “Well, the graduating class specifically. I’m going to do the commencement speech.”_

  
_  
Neither looked particularly enthused by this, looking at one another worriedly._

 

_“Are you sure you’re making the right choice here?” Jim asked, concerned. “I mean, you’re talking about moving to another city, with no job lined up or anything.”_

 

_Andy shrugged and replied, “I got enough saved up to last me for a couple months and I’ve lived in Ithaca for seven years. Plus I got a few old friends there, so I can crash with them while I get back on my feet if I need to. Besides… no offense, you two, but… I really don’t think there’s anything left for me here in Scranton.”_

 

_Pam’s mouth went ajar, a look of worry and sadness crossing her face. “Are you serious, Andy? I mean, surely-”_

 

_“Pam, look,” Andy interrupted, holding a hand up, “I appreciate the concern. I really do. But my mind’s been made up already. I just wanted to let you guys know beforehand.”_

 

_The couple across from him looked at each other again with worry but seemed to realize there was no use in trying to change his mind. “Well, you should at least say goodbye to everyone here before you go,” Jim pointed out._

 

_“Yeah, I suppose so,” Andy admitted. With that, he finished off the last of his lunch, tossed the garbage away, and grabbed his backpack. Walking out of the break room and into the main office, he made a little trumpet sound to gain everyone’s attention._

 

_“Hey, guys!” Andy announced. “So in three days, for realsies this time, I’m leaving Scranton, and I just want to say goodbye to you all before I go.”_

 

_Phyllis gave a confused look. “Where will you be going and why?”_

 

_Andy simply replied, “I’ll be going to Ithaca for a new opportunity. It’s been a fun ride but I think it’s time to write a new chapter for my life, expand my horizons, all that good stuff.”_

 

_Oscar interjected, “Do you even know what you’re going to do? It sounds to me like you’re just jumping into something without a plan.” He wanted to also say that he had a strong feeling that Andy was using this as an excuse to just run away from everything, but held his tongue, figuring it would be in poor taste to say that._

 

_Andy waved his hand and said, “I’ll be fine, Oscar! You don’t need to worry about little ol’ me.”_

 

_“Just go before you change your mind again,” Stanley grumbled, not even looking up from his crossword puzzle._

 

_“I’ll miss you too, Stanley,” Andy nodded. “In fact, I’ll miss you all. Even you, Nellie.”_

 

_That got a small smile from the Brit who had been something of an arch-enemy to him since the day they met. She said, “Why, thank you, Andy. I understand the healing power of a fresh start, it’s why I’m here in America. I wish you all the best.”_

 

_“Please don’t get sappy on me,” Andy said flatly. He gave a long gracious bow. “Well, au revoir, so long, farewell, Auf Wiedersehen, adieu, adieu to you and you and you. Take of yourselves, everyone.”_

 

_As he left, a feeling of sadness gripped the office. Andy had gone through a lot these past few months and as much as they would miss him, they all knew on some level that getting away from here was probably the best thing he could do for himself._

 

_About a minute later, Erin got out of the bathroom and was about to return to her desk, but noticed how the atmosphere of the place was so somber. “Hey, what’s with everyone here? Why are you all looking so sad?”_

 

_Pam realized that Erin wasn’t in the room with them and answered, “You missed it. Andy just left. He said he’s leaving Scranton in a few days to go live in New York.”_

 

_Erin gasped. Was he really going to leave town without at least saying goodbye to her? She sprinted out of the office and ran down the stairs, knowing that the elevator was way too slow for a building with only four floors. She pushed past the exit doors, ignoring the security guard trying to stop her from running in the lobby. To her relief, Andy was still in the parking lot, just about to get into his car._

 

_“Andy! Wait! Andy!” Erin called out. Andy felt his throat tighten when he heard her calling his name out, her footsteps coming closer to him. He silently cursed to himself that she had to come out and catch him. He just wanted to make it nice, quick and clean, like ripping off a band-aid (okay, he always peeled those off slowly, but the metaphor fit here)._

 

_“They said you’re leaving for New York! Is that true, Andy?” she asked in shock._

 

_“Yeah, it is,” he replied flatly. “What’s it to you?”_

 

_“Well, I’m just wondering why.” Her voice then got low. “You’re not going to compete on another reality show, are you?”_

 

_Andy sighed, “No, I’m going to Ithaca. It’s the town where my old college is at. I need to move on, find some new opportunities, and I think relocating will do that.”_

 

_“But-”_

 

_“You’re not going to change my mind, Erin, so don’t waste the effort,” he told her bluntly, cutting her off before she could get another word in._

 

_[Erin flinched.](https://youtu.be/z2oYbVQngmA?t=1m51s) Even if she wasn’t the best at reading people, she could hear the venom in his voice._

 

_Andy seemed to realize that too. He_ _sighed, looked up at the sky, and his tone became a little gentler as he said, “Look, we all have to move on, right? Well, this how I'm moving on. You said it yourself that I had to.”_

 

 _Erin shook and her stomach started to hurt. He was right, she_ **_did_ ** _say that to him. So why did it make her feel bad to see him actually following through on it?_

 

_“So… are you leaving then? Like, forever?” she asked, trying to sound steady._

 

_He nodded. “Yeah.”_

 

_A long, sad silence took hold. Looking down at the pavement, Erin slowly nodded. If this was what Andy needed to be happy, then she wouldn't get in his way. She at least owed him that much._

 

_“Okay then,” she said, blinking fast. “I… I’m glad I met you and… I hope you do well in your life, Andy. Goodbye. And good luck.”_

 

_“Thanks,” he said. “I’m… glad I met you too. Goodbye, Erin. Take care of yourself.” And with that, he got into his car, started it up, and drove away._

 

_Erin wasn’t sure why, but it cut her deeply that not once during their goodbye did Andy turn away from his car to face her._

 

_Meanwhile, up in the conference room, the rest of the office watched it all. Although they couldn't hear anything, they could ascertain that this was clearly a painful farewell for both._

 

_Pam shook her head. “Damn. Not even a goodbye hug.”_

 

He had to move forward after all. He’d made an ass of himself more times than he could care to remember. He made some downright stupid and cruel mistakes, and it was a miracle anyone would even want to still talk to him. Especially after...

 

No, best not to think about that.

 

So he decided to start over fresh. He left Dunder Mifflin, got a new job at Cornell that was much better suited for him (by accident, no less), and even made being “Baby Waa-Waa” work for him in a way. His life finally seemed to resemble something that actually looked normal. He actually looked like a responsible and functional adult, rather than the spoiled WASP manchild recorded on the documentary.

 

He also threw himself fully into the self-improvement thing, to keep becoming a better person than the idiot on TV.

 

Of course, digging himself out of that pit wasn’t always easy but he went on.

 

Therapy helped too.

 

_“Diet Day One is a go,” he said to himself. His therapist, Dr. Jonathan Harper, had suggested he start finding certain new ways to occupy his time and build up his sense of self-worth. Exercising was one, so Andy decided to try it out._

 

_It wasn’t getting off to the best start though. Andy scrunched his face as he chugged the glass of water mixed with a green “superfood” powder made of kale, spinach, some stuff called spirulina, and other vegetables. It wasn’t the worst thing he’d tasted in his life, but it was not pleasant either. It even felt like what he’d imagined the color green tasting like._

 

_But that smoothie was only the first part. Now came the actual exercising. Andy bought himself a whole new section for his wardrobe, a collection of sleek athletic wear for optimal jogging. He already felt pretty good in these clothes, but he knew he’d feel even better once he actually used them for the purpose they were made for. He then placed the earbuds in and pushed play on his iPhone to start his workout mix. As the beats of[Eric Prydz’s “Call On Me”](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ou6MoKmxFQ) picked up, he began his run._

 

_But it was such a hassle. Sure, he could feel it working out places he’d never even considered being worked out, but his whole body just wanted to give up. His legs were sore, his lungs were going to pop, even his buttocks started to feel strained._

 

_But he pushed himself. Old Andy would’ve stopped after two minutes; New Andy was going to see this through._

 

_But the more he kept pushing himself, the more his body began to push back. His abdomen started to hurt, the pain sharp. And then, before he could stop himself, or even at least get to a bush or a trash can or something, the green superfood drink leaped out of his stomach, burning through his throat, and spewing out of his mouth in a disgusting projectile spray all over the sidewalk._

 

_Even though today was a fairly warm summer day for Ithaca, Andy’s whole body felt clammy, sweat dripping off his hair as he fell to his knees and clutched his stomach, taking several deep breaths to steady himself. This was not how he'd hoped this would go._

 

_And then, out of the corner of his eye, he saw a birthday party in the park nearby. The little kids and their parents all looked at him, shocked and concerned. One of the mothers came up to him, a look of worry on her face._

 

_“Sir, are you alright?” she asked, holding a bottle of Gatorade in one hand. Andy, wheezing and coughing as he tried to clear out the horrible taste of vomited up green superfood from his mouth, weakly nodded as the woman escorted him to a bench nearby. He graciously took the bottle, mouthing a thanks to the nice lady._

 

 _For the next half hour, Andy stayed seated, recovering and taking periodic sips of the drink. The party went on, kids playing and adults interacting. He wondered what they were talking about. Even if they were talking about him, he wasn’t too torn up by the thought. He had just vomited while jogging, which wasn’t even close to being the_ **_third_ ** _most embarrassing thing to ever happen to him._

 

_A party guest then took a seat next to him. She was too young to be a mother to any of those kids; probably an older sister around at least her late teens or very early twenties. Her fashion choices were also pretty offbeat, with an almost bohemian-hippie vibe going on, her blond hair in a messy and loose braid. She took a seat next to him._

 

_“Sorry that had to happen to you,” she said to him. “You feeling better now?”_

 

_“Yeah,” he said with a slightly bitter laugh. “Not exactly how I imagined this going.”_

 

_The young lady looked at him with sympathy and replied, “Well, here’s a little hint for you to use next time - don’t overexert yourself on the first few sessions. Start with power walking, then work your way up.”_

 

_He smiled at that. “Thanks. I’ll… keep that in mind.”_

 

_“You’re welcome.” She then added, “Not to sound mean, but I’m pretty sure puking in front a birthday party is nothing compared to all the other crap that’s happened to you.”_

 

_Andy couldn’t help but flinch, that someone recognized him as Baby Waa-Waa. She saw that and quickly said, “You shouldn’t be so ashamed of it. Besides, if anything, you had a really bad day there. It probably could’ve gone worse. I’m surprised you didn’t just snap and go on a rampage with a chainsaw. Toby too, now that I think about it.”_

 

_For the first time in a while, Andy laughed. “Yeah, that’s... actually kind of a miracle in itself.”_

 

_“And this jogging thing shows that you’re trying to improve your life,” she added. “I think you’ll be okay.” She then handed Andy what looked like a business card. Her name was Cassie Lockheart, she worked for a cosmetics company, and he saw her number and email._

 

_Cassie got up from her seat, a little grin on her face. “Call me soon. I’ll be leaving to go back to Vermont in a few days, so you shouldn’t dawdle on that.” With a wink, she turned around and said, “See you later, Andy.”_

 

_He took her up on the offer the next day and he definitely didn’t regret it._

 

 This new Andy Bernard, a more self-assured, considerate, and stable man, rose from the ashes of embarrassment and made something of himself. The new job was a great shot that jolted a real and true confidence in him, and it only got better. He even found a new theatre group to join. After all, he could never give up his love of singing.

 

And the results more than spoke for themselves - he made new friends with his Cornell coworkers and the theatre company. They weren’t as amazing as the friendships he’d made with the Dunder Mifflin crew, but they were fun to interact and go out with. He had the respect of many of the students too, not just from his commencement speech, but also for how surprisingly resilient he was. Hell, he even got acknowledgment from his family for this. Not that he really needed the last one that much anymore.

 

  _He really didn't want any kind of big party to celebrate his birthday. But his mom and sister Gretchen had insisted, so Andy let them do it. Lots of guests invited, a nice dinner, drinks, cake..._

 

_The party had all the family friends and relatives come, many of whom pitied him. They all said sorry for all the stuff that he was filmed on, for becoming an Internet laughingstock, his love life. Andy’s birthday was a literal pity party._

 

_His father was icy, as usual. Mom was slightly better, as usual. Gretchen was the only one who understood him best, so she stayed with him the whole time, handling most of the interactions. And Walt just stayed out of the way, drinking anything with alcohol in it._

 

_He just wanted to go back to Ithaca honestly._

 

_When the party finally ended after a merciful few hours later, Andy immediately grabbed a large bottle of rum. Drinking it straight from the bottle (with a coke, just to add something sweet to counteract the burning bitterness), he took a seat next to Walt on the patio._

 

_“Not any easier, huh?” Walt remarked._

 

_“What do you mean?” Andy asked._

 

_“Getting older.”_

 

_Andy shrugged, chugging another swig of rum. “Happens to everyone.”_

 

_Silence again as the two brothers continued drinking._

 

_“Andy?”_

 

_“What?”_

 

_“I just want to say that I'm sorry,” said Walt. “For everything. The shit Mom and Dad put you through, all that stuff with The Office, the stuff with the boat and Erin… the last one especially. I don’t know, it just… I feel like I caused it.”_

 

_Andy felt a sting as he was reminded of the boat trip. Three months at sea, no contact with anyone, feeling lost, grappling with an existential crisis, inadvertently pushing Erin away…_

 

_He stamped the thought out. No use in harping on it. All it brought him was pain and he was sick of it._

 

_“It wasn’t your fault, Walt,” he said reassuringly. “There were some problems already, and Erin and I… we weren’t meant to be. We tried it before and it didn’t work.”_

 

_Walt still looked guilty though, and maybe not entirely convinced. “Maybe…”_

 

_“Look, what happened has happened and life goes on. I’ve moved on from it and you should too. Don’t beat yourself up for anything,” Andy said to him._

 

_Walt nodded. “Alright then. I won’t.”_

 

Yet, even with all the great strides he had made over the past year, there was still one thing that Andy wasn’t exactly in a rush to get back into.

 

After all, he went through _three_ failed relationships (one being done twice with the same girl, and was cheated on twice) during the course of the filming of the documentary as well as a general history of bad luck in the past, which all left Andy feeling burnt out on dating. He got a few dates over the past year. They were never anything serious; none of them got past the first date. Most of the year was filled with casual flings, even the occasional one night stand, and a large number of those women slept with him simply out of sympathy. Not that he minded at first; getting laid was getting laid, but even that got boring after a while. It just felt so… empty.

 

_Andy had no idea why he was even here. The music was too loud, the patrons obnoxious, and the drinks were ridiculously overpriced._

 

_The kinds of girls that went to these sorts of establishments also weren’t really the types to take home to mom either._

 

 _“Oh, you poor little baby,” the brunette woman said to him, her hand moving lower, lower down his body. She was wearing a very skimpy and tight strapless black dress and matching high heels. They were in the largest stall of the bathroom, their sounds drowned out by the DJ’s playing._  

 

_The woman, Sara, wasn’t repulsive or anything, but the way she came onto Andy was not the most comfortable. She recognized he was on Youtube, and thought he was cute, and was more than a little drunk, as evidenced by the rather sloppy way she was sucking him off to get him hard. She then hiked the bottom of her dress up, pulling her underwear down._

 

_Andy wrapped it up quick, slipping on a condom and thrusting in. In and out, in and out. Sara grinding against him as she was bent over, holding on to the handicap bar for support. “Oh yeah, like that…” she moaned._

 

_It was several minutes of this before they finished. There was no afterglow to really bask in, only leaning against the wall bar to catch their breaths._

 

_Sara then grinned and said, “You’re not half bad at all. We should do this again sometime.”_

 

_Andy cracked a smile at that and nodded. “Sure, we should.”_

 

_That was a lie. As soon as he got home, Andy jumped into the shower, turned the water on to nearly scalding hot and vigorously scrubbed every inch of his skin._

 

It wasn’t that he didn’t want companionship, but between his bad history and doing some self-reflection after watching himself in the documentary, he began to wonder if he would ever be able to find someone, much less be able to keep them. Andy had struggled, toiled and paid a high price to find himself, to finally make peace with it all, and he wasn’t going to risk undoing all that over something that was probably just doomed to begin with.

 

But more than anything, he was determined not to get hurt or disappointed again.

 

He had enough of that over his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, as can be ascertained, I hated what Season 9 did with Andy’s character and development and how it just threw everything about the Erin/Andy relationship out the window, so I felt the need to make my own personal little fix-up headcanon. Is it a little self-indulgent? Probably. But I felt the need to get it out and share it.
> 
> Also as can be noticed, this story is going to be more somber in tone than the original series, but I promise it won’t go into any grimdark territory. Funny moments are still sprinkled in too (at least I hope they're funny). Poor Andy and Erin have been put through the wringer, and it's only getting started for them.
> 
> There are a bunch of shout-outs peppered throughout, including to certain music (for some reason, I can easily see Andy loving "Call On Me" and mimicking the music video's characters), and the show You're the Worst (which actually provided some of the inspiration in my writing this).
> 
> Now let's go on this journey, shall we?


	2. Keep It Close

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As they prepare for the big day, Andy and Erin reflect on the changes in their lives and, try as they might, each other.

“Attention, everyone!” Dwight called into the Dunder Mifflin Scranton office. Everyone turned around to listen to him. It had been a year since filming stopped and they were all still trying to get used to the lack of cameras around.

 

“As you are all aware,” Dwight began, “mine and Angela’s wedding will be commencing in four days, just in time for the one-year anniversary of the documentary airing date. And because of that, the production team will be here to film it all, as well as reunite us with some old faces. Stanley, Toby, Nellie, Andy...”

 

Erin’s head shot up at the mention of Andy’s name and immediately, her heart began to beat faster in her ears, her whole being felt like jello and her belly began to twist itself into knots. Andy…

 

She hadn’t spoken to him ever since he left Scranton exactly one week after the documentary premiere date to go live in New York for what he claimed was a new opportunity. And as far as she knew, most of the others didn’t speak to him much over the last year either. He barely popped up in any conversations since the “Baby Waa-Waa” days or when he posted that video defending her, and Erin wasn’t about to bring him up as a conversation topic.

 

“What about Michael? Any word on if he’s coming?” Jim asked, the question shaking Erin out of her thoughts.

 

Dwight looked down at the floor at the mention of the old boss. His voice was slightly shaky as he answered, “No word yet. Still.”

 

That made the rest of the office collectively sigh with disappointment. Michael, always difficult, always a riot. He still kept in touch with Jim, Pam, and Dwight on and off over the years since he went to Colorado to be with Holly. Erin had to admit she missed the big goof and would’ve loved to see him again.

 

As Dwight and Jim (designated as Dwight’s Best Man) discussed pre-wedding arrangements and the rest of the office went into excited chatter in anticipation over the events that would be going on in the next few days, Pete walked over to the reception area with a concerned look on his face.

 

Breaking up was never easy, but theirs wasn't too difficult. It helped that Erin, deciding she needed some space, took a week off after they ended things, using the PTO she had accumulated to cover her absent hours. She went through the typical things a girl did after a break-up - gorging herself on Ben & Jerry’s Phish Food ice cream, listening to sad music, making a few impulsive shopping decisions, and, as per Meredith’s advice, multiple shots of raspberry schnapps went a long way. After getting that out of her system, Erin returned to work, ready to tackle anything that stood in her way.

 

Pete handled things reasonably well himself. Like Erin, he also took a week off to help out his parents, who had been stressed out and on edge ever since their son was the target of the Internet’s collective hatred. It hurt to know that they were actually _glad_ he broke up with Erin, viewing that relationship as nothing but troublesome. Over that week, they moved to a new house and rebuilt their lives after some identity thieves took advantage of their leaked personal information. It wasn’t easy, and they still had some problems after a year went by, but things were slowly getting back to normal for them.

 

When they returned to work, things mostly went back to the way they always had been. The rest of the office had been saddened the two of them broke up, as they clearly worked well together, but the circumstances made it understandable. Erin and Pete were still hard working professionals, and even though their romantic relationship didn’t work out, they were still good friends. They still went out for drinks on occasion, watched and talked about movies, and their little conversations definitely helped break up the monotony of their workdays.

 

In fact, if she had to be honest with herself, Erin actually kind of preferred it that way. Pete wasn’t a terrible boyfriend by any stretch, but looking back on it now, she realized he never seemed to quite treat her like an adult; more like a porcelain doll that would get tainted or break at the smallest thing. Normally, she wouldn’t have minded a protective boyfriend, but she also liked a little challenge too. Their relationship was alright, but ultimately they were better as friends.

 

“So,” said Pete, “we’re going to be seeing some old friends again soon.”

 

“Yeah,” Erin replied, looking off to the side awkwardly.

 

“Are you sure you’ll be okay? You know, since _he’s_ coming too?”

 

“You can say his name you know,” Erin pointed out.

 

“Right, yeah. _Andy_ is coming here and I know you haven't talked to him since he left for New York last year. You think you can handle it? It sounds like an awkward recipe.”

 

Erin wasn’t exactly sure. Even though a year had passed by, it was still uncomfortable to think about. She shook her head and replied, “I should be fine. He should be too. It’s been a year now and we’ve all moved on.”

 

Pete shrugged at that and replied, “Of course. Just know I’ve got your back. In case, you know, anything goes wrong.”

 

“Of course, Pete. I know you do,” she said with a smile. “You’re probably worrying over nothing, so just relax.”

 

“Wish I could,” he said with a small laugh. “Still, it would be exciting to catch up with everyone else too.”

 

“Yeah, I really do miss them all. Even Stanley and he’s usually so grumpy,” Erin noted, giggling at some previous memories of the old salesman. She still laughed herself to tears thinking of that day when the whole office came together to see if Stanley noticed anything weird going on and for everything, from Kevin and Phyllis switching outfits to Pam wearing a fake mustache and Dwight bringing in a pony, among others, but a slow clock to go over his head.

 

Eventually, Pete returned to working and the rest of the day passed by without incident. After closing up, shutting off the lights and making sure she didn’t leave anything important behind, Erin left the office and got into her car, a simple tan Toyota Camry. It wasn’t anything glamorous, but Erin liked her car fine since it got her where she needed to go in an efficient manner. As she drove through the busy 5 PM streets of Scranton, several different thoughts entered her mind.

 

And, much to her honest frustration, most, if not all, of them were centered around Andy.

 

She thought about the end of their relationship. She felt so ashamed of herself when she watched the parts in the documentary where she told Andy to get over her being with Pete. How she had been so horribly insensitive and downright hypocritical to say that, considering how she couldn’t get over him being with Jessica. Erin didn’t want to be that person again. And the way how things ended between them wasn’t really anything clean and satisfactory either.

 

And what of Andy himself? Had he moved on with his life? Did he ever get anything better after all the embarrassing things that happened to him over this past year? How was he doing? _What_ was he doing even?

 

These questions plagued Erin’s mind the rest of the night.

 

* * *

 

 “I LIKE TO PUSH THE PRAM A LOT!”

 

“And that’s a wrap! Great practice, everyone!” the director said with pride at the ensemble of actors and singers before him.

 

Andy was among them, beaming with pride at his troupe’s perfect session. As the choir dispersed, several members excitedly chattered about plans for the week. Andy, however, preferred to quietly slip away, making a run for the men’s changing room to get out of his costume. That didn’t mean he evaded all attention however.

 

“Hey, Mr. Bernard, wait up!” a young feminine voice called out to him.

 

Andy turned around, recognizing the voice’s owner. Serena Louis-Jean, a Cornell student he’d personally admitted to the university. While she was majoring in business, she had a love for theatre as well. Her parents came from Haiti to the USA to make a better life for themselves, and she certainly made her parents proud by attending Cornell. It was sometimes a little odd, that the students liked to personally befriend him. Some just wanted a taste of his so-called fame and notoriety but others just simply found him to be one of the more fun adults to converse with unlike some of the more serious-minded professors and admin staff. And Serena was a nice person and good to hold a conversation with. She had a real passion for the art of performance, which was always great to see in the members of the troupe.

 

“Hey Serena,” Andy greeted with a kind smile. “You did great during practice.”

 

She beamed at that. “Thanks, you were great too! What are you planning to do this week?”

 

Andy looked off to the side, awkwardly answering, “Well, not much. I mean, I am going to visit some old friends in a few days…”

 

“Everyone from the Dunder Mifflin documentary you mean,” Serena specified. When Andy nodded at that with some slight unease, Serena’s expression became sympathetic.

 

“How did you know?”

 

“Everyone who’s seen the thing knows,” Serena answered. “Are you… do you think it’ll go okay?”

 

Andy shrugged and said, “Yeah! I mean, it _should_. It’s been over a year, I would think we’ve all changed and moved on from all that crap.”

 

At least he hoped they all did…

 

It was all too obvious that he wasn’t entirely sure himself, and Serena could see that. “Are you contractually obligated to go?” she asked.

 

“Eh, no, I’m not, but I’d feel like a total jerk if I just flake out and cancel on them. Plus, I can’t take back Dwight and Angela’s wedding gift either.”

 

Serena chuckled at that and gave him a comforting smile. “Well, I wish you the best of luck then, Mr. Bernard. I hope they can all see how great you’ve been doing.”

 

“Thanks for that, Serena. Well, I gotta get going now, have a good night!” Andy bid her farewell and got into the dressing room. After quickly changing out of his costume and into more comfortable casual clothes, he went to his car, started it up, and began driving on home.

 

A slew of thoughts raced through his brain as he thought of Scranton, of Dunder Mifflin, of his old friends, and, try as he might, of _her_.

 

A year had passed by, and by and large, he was able to bring himself to stop thinking about her too much. He credited that to cutting off all contact with her the day he left Scranton and he took care not to ask about her on the very few occasions he talked with anyone from Dunder Mifflin he still kept contact with. It helped that Darryl, with his cross-country traveling job, had no idea what was going on, and Jim and Pam, who stayed neutral on the whole thing, well aware of what a sore topic it had been for him, never brought her up once.

 

He then thought back to that video he posted. He didn’t regret putting it up, but it didn’t exactly help his own situation at the time.

 

_His webcam was open and set up, Andy knew he was probably just a small rock against the ocean. But it had to be done. He could not in good conscience stay silent on this._

 

_With a big smile and a click of the “Record” button, he got started._

 

_“Hi, guys! Nard-Dog, or just Andy from “The Office: An American Workplace” here today! You know, I have been really touched by the outpour of support that was sent my way just recently. I’ll admit, I haven’t had the best past year ever, so it’s really heartening to know so many have my back.”_

 

 _His expression fell slightly. “However, there is something a little concerning for me. You see, I’ve recently been made aware that some people have been sending some very…_ **_disturbing_ ** _messages to one Erin Hannon. And by disturbing, I mean things like death threats, rape threats, and whatnot.”_

 

_A scowl began to form over his features, his voice growing low. “First of all, no, I absolutely do not approve of this. Now, yes, Erin did hurt me. But I hurt her too. I own up to that one thousand percent. I wasn’t a good boyfriend to her, so if anyone should be blamed for our break-up, it’s me.”_

 

 _Teeth clenched, his voice only got lower as he snarled, “Second of all, you people who are doing this to her, yeah,_ **_you_ ** _, I guess you probably think you’re helping me when you’re doing this. Newsflash - you’re not. In fact, I’m actually disappointed to call you my fans.”_

 

 _And then his entire body was shaking, fists clenched on the table. “Know this -_ _you are not heroes. You are not martyrs. You are not fighting some good fight for justice. You are all honestly pathetic, getting angry over something that has literally no bearing on your own life. So get off your high horses, grow the hell up, and_ **_leave Erin the fuck alone_ ** _!”_

 

_And then he uploaded it._

 

_He turned off all notifications he could get for it. He had no desire to read the comments for it._

 

While he hated having to defend the relationship that developed behind his back, he couldn't just sit back and let those assholes bully her. She didn’t deserve that.

 

The other Dunder Mifflin personnel, mainly Darryl, Jim, and Pam, reached out to him after he posted that to ask if he was okay. Darryl even admitted he actually found Andy’s rage there genuinely frightening. Andy still wasn’t sure whether to take that as a compliment or not.

 

Eventually though, the cruelty began to dissipate, little by little. Sure, no one would ever truly live down some of the things revealed of themselves in the documentary (and in his case, the added humiliation of a viral video of his failed acapella audition on Youtube), but Andy learned quickly that the Internet generally had a short attention span and would move on to the next target of mockery within the span of a few months at the very most.

 

As he entered his home, a modestly sized apartment decorated with a mix of Cornell memorabilia and theatre posters, Andy went over to his bedroom and examined his suitcase again. He wasn’t going to be there too long so he didn’t want to come over-prepared. He wanted to be back in Scranton long enough to be able to catch up with the people he wanted to catch up with, but not _too_ long so he wouldn’t have to be in much contact with anyone he didn’t want to cross paths with.

 

 _‘Like_ **_her_ ** _?’_

 

Andy ignored that voice in the back of his head. He was done with being the petty and childish idiot who had no internal filter or self-awareness, with a heaping dose of crippling insecurity and the ability to spectacularly ruin anything good that happened in his life to top it all off. He would be an actual adult about it, so as long as she was happy, he wouldn’t step on it.

  
Besides, they had a go at it, _twice_ , and both attempts at making it work ended in failure. What good would a third attempt do?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is a fairly straightforward and simple chapter, mostly consisting of exposition and some more character interactions. Not really much to say here. I was thinking of keeping Andy's "leave Erin alone" video a Noodle Incident/Take Our Word For It sort of thing, but then I decided to put it in. I just hope it's satisfactorily angry sounding enough. The pace will pick up more in the next chapter.
> 
> On another note, I'm really honestly not onboard with the recent announcement of a new season. Aside from the news that Steve Carrell (and most likely the rest of our lovable cast) won't be in it, it just feels... unnecessary, especially considering the series ended on a pretty good note (certain stuff aside). And another example of how bad the nostalgia milking has gotten these days. But maybe I'm just being a pessimist? We'll see.


	3. It's Been...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The panel and the wedding have come and gone. Andy and Erin are alone in the parking lot as they are reunited, and despite everything their better judgment tells them, they find themselves slowly reconnecting.

To say today and yesterday had been eventful would be a massive understatement.

 

Erin’s head was still spinning from everything that just happened. The panel, Dwight and Angela’s wedding, seeing Creed again (and him being arrested, which was a long time coming), and…

 

Her parents.

 

She’d thought a lot about how it would be. She wondered a lot about them, how it would be when she found them.

 

They found her ultimately, and it was… well, it didn’t quite go exactly how she’d imagined it, but it was close enough. Thankfully, they were good. No, better than good. Amazing. Fun, kind and loving. Regretful of how they were forced to give her up when they were unable to care for her and wishing things could’ve been different. Unfortunately, since they both lived out of state, their time here in Scranton was going to be greatly limited. Only a couple days before they would have to return back to their other families and jobs. It made her more than a little sad, but she understood, and the fact that she knew them now and had ways of keeping in touch with them was enough to make up for that.

 

If she had to name anything else to be thankful for today, the fact that there weren’t any cruel hecklers at the panel yesterday would be a close second. She shuddered to remember the first panels that were organized in the early days, where there was more than one person in the audience who would start asking her degrading questions about her sex life, or how she could sleep at night after how she handled the situation between her and Andy and Pete, or just jumping up to yell slurs at her. The very first one went so badly that at the second one, the venue had to beef up security just to escort those people out.

 

She thought back to Dwight and Angela’s wedding, feeling so much joy for the two of them. Even though Angela was never easy to get along with and her own view on Dwight himself flip-flopped between an odd sort of admiration to just plain finding him odd, Erin loved them both nevertheless and knew they were meant for each other. And Michael coming back for the day to be Dwight’s true best man!

 

_ “Looks like you need a little help,” Erin said to Pete with a snicker. He had been roped into doing a little dance with Cece that went on longer than expected. _

 

_ “Yes, please!” Pete pleaded. “She won’t stop!” _

 

_ Erin laughed and knelt in front of Cece, asking the young girl if she could return to her parents. She skipped on over to Jim and Pam’s table, leaving the two former lovers on the dance floor. _

 

_ “If anything,” Erin remarked, “I saved  _ **_her_ ** _ from your horrible dancing.” _

 

_ Pete’s jaw dropped in offense to that. “I’m a horrible dancer?! Erin, that hurts!” _

 

_ “Well, let me show you,” she said, taking his hands. “Like this…” _

 

_ For a few minutes, he tried to follow her, even though they kept accidentally stepping on the other’s feet when one stepped out of sync and Pete was barely able to spin before crashing into Dwight and Angela. _

 

_ “Watch yourself, Plop!” Angela snapped sharply. _

 

_ “Sorry, Angela!” the two cried out in unison, really not wanting to incur the tiny blonde’s wrath. _

 

_ “Come on, you two, how about you take a seat?” Erin’s mother, Joan, said to the two, beckoning for them to join her and Erin’s father, Edward, at their table to share some drinks. _

 

_ They did and Ed remarked, “You kids sure are a riot together! Any plans to do as Dwight and Angela and tie the knot?” _

 

_ Erin and Pete immediately shook their heads. “Oh, no, no, Dad, we’re broken up, we’re just friends!” _

 

_ Joan’s face fell. “Oh, I’m sorry Erin.” _

 

_ “It’s no problem, Mom.” _

 

_ Unbeknownst to Erin as she continued catching up on lost time with her parents, Andy caught more than one glimpse of her and Pete. His jaw tightened and he simply turned back to his drink before deciding he needed something stronger than a beer. _

 

And the after-party…

 

_ There he was. Walking around, having a drink, a relaxed smile… _

 

_ Even though her own throat felt tight upon seeing him, Erin had to reach out. She wanted to at least try to get into a conversation with him. _

 

_ “You sure it’s a good idea?” Pete asked her apprehensively. _

 

_ “I’ll have no idea till I try,” she replied. _

 

_ He shrugged. “It's your funeral.” _

 

_ “Hey, Andy! It’s been a while!” _

 

_ He could hear her calling out to him, see her waving at him and motioning for him to meet with her. He supposed it was inevitable that this should happen, but even that didn’t prepare him much. He wanted to just ignore her and go off and talk with someone else, but he knew it would be a massive dick move on his part to do that. So, with a deep breath and quick sip of liquid courage, he walked up to her and Pete. _

 

_ “Yeah,” said Andy, with a smile that almost seemed a little wide, a little too toothy to be natural. “It’s been… a while, hasn’t it?” _

 

_ “Yeah!” Erin replied. “How have you been? You've been gone for over a year! How's Ithaca treating you?” _

 

_ “Ithaca has been great!” Andy answered. “Got a new place, a good job, all that good stuff.” _

 

_ “Well, that sounds great,” Erin replied. “I'm glad you're doing well.” _

 

_ Even as he seemed happy as he spoke, smiling and laughing, Erin could see how Andy’s eyes occasionally darted off to the side, like he was trying to find an escape route... _

 

She wanted to talk, to tell him everything, but she wanted to do it in private, which was impossible with everyone there and the cameras going on. So she waited, hanging out with the rest of the office.

 

It felt bittersweet. On the one hand, she was counting down the hours, but also didn’t want it to end...

 

And then it did.

 

But the day was perfect and she wouldn’t change a thing.

 

As they all exited the building, watching as Creed was being taken away by the police, Erin laughed to Pete, “I can’t believe this! I always wondered if he was actually making all those crazy stories up!”

 

Pete shrugged and replied, “Yeah, sometimes I did too, but then he started getting really detailed and specific about everything. I still get weirded out by that story where he was in this hippie cult in Oregon during the 80s. I actually looked that up, too, just to see if he was telling the truth. It’s a seriously messed up story.”

 

“Was he the leader of that cult?” she asked, remembering how Creed talked about his involvement in such things in the past, both as a leader and a follower.

 

“Nah, the leader of that one was this old Indian guy with a big long beard who talked about expanding the consciousness and other stuff they quote in psytrance songs,” Pete answered. He then frowned and raised an eyebrow, “Now I wonder if any psy producer has ever sampled an Osho quote…”

 

Erin rolled her eyes at that. Admittedly, she found Pete’s music tastes a little too weird at times; she liked sweet, lighthearted and fun music, while he liked fast, hard and dark sounding stuff that… well, honestly she was certain one would need weird drugs to really get into the sort of stuff Pete liked.

 

“Well, it’s been good. I think I’m probably going to hit the sack when I get home,” Pete said as he unlocked the door of his car. “See you Monday, Erin.”

 

“Alright then, Pete, have a good night. Drive safe!” Erin said, giving him a quick hug before he got into his car.

 

“You too!” he said back to her. With that, Pete started up his car and drove on out.

 

Before she went over to her own car, Erin couldn’t help but look around again. Some things stayed the same, and other things just changed so dramatically. Not just over this one year, but just these past couple of days. She met her parents, Jim and Pam were going to move, Dwight and Angela were married…

 

And here she still was. Getting better, but still feeling lost. Drifting through the wind aimlessly.

 

She then shifted her gaze and saw Andy walking towards the gate opening to the street over at the other side of the parking lot from her. He had his phone out, probably to call a cab. They were the last people here, and to be able to talk to him in private instead of being surrounded by everyone and having it all be recorded by the documentary cameras sounded too good to be true.

 

_‘Should I though?’_ she wondered to herself, conflicting thoughts and feelings running through her head. _‘What if he was just pretending to be nice because we were surrounded by everyone and he’s still bitter?_ _But what if I never get the chance to talk to him again? To at least tell him I’m glad he defended me back then?’_

 

Even though it felt heavy on her mind, she had to seize the chance. So, Erin took a deep breath, sprinted over and called out to him. “Andy!”

 

When he heard  _ her  _ call his name, Andy tensed up. He just stayed glued to his phone, hoping it could find an Uber close by, and tried to ignore her. He wanted to convince himself he was just imagining it, but…

 

Seeing all those fans happily greeting him while waiting for the panel to begin was certainly a highlight as was everyone being impressed by his commencement speech, but he had enough of seeing her today, and still close to Plop (he admitted to taking a little amusement out of how that nickname stuck). He did manage to stay civil, kept his head high, and behaved like an adult, but it sure as hell wasn’t easy. She wanted to keep the conversations going, but he wouldn’t give her much. He just wanted to leave.

 

“Andy, wait! I just want to talk,” Erin said. 

 

He slowly turned around. She was right there, a couple feet from him, wanting to  _ talk  _ to him?

 

“Please, just hear me out,” she pleaded. 

 

Andy wasn’t sure if she was even consciously doing it, but she was giving him  _ that  _ look. That “puppy dog eyes” look that came too naturally to her, a look that immediately turned even the biggest and grumpiest sourpusses into total creampuff softies.

 

Andy put his phone away and inwardly cursed at himself for not being able to resist. But if she really just wanted to talk, he supposed it wouldn’t hurt to give her a minute. “Okay. What do you want to talk about then, Erin?”

 

She took a deep breath and replied, “Well, I… I just… I just want to let you know I really appreciated how you stood up to all those Internet bullies for me after everything that happened and… I thought it was really big of you to do. You didn’t have to do any of that.”

 

Andy couldn’t help but cringe a bit when being reminded of that, but he also couldn’t keep himself from smiling slightly as he replied, “Well… I couldn’t just let all those jerks say all that horrible stuff about you. Besides, it was mostly my fault we didn’t work out. I was a terrible boyfriend to you back then and you deserved to be happy, plus I  _ was  _ being a big selfish baby through it.”

 

“Still,” Erin persisted, “I went behind your back after you had risked a lot to get me back and I never stopped to really think how much it hurt you too, so I owe you an apology. I’m sorry, Andy.”

 

Andy was slightly taken aback by that, but he could tell she really meant it, so he accepted it. “Well, thanks for that, Erin. That means a lot. Really, it does.”

 

For a short moment, an awkward silence took hold. Neither was really sure what else to say. So many turbulent, twisted emotions rolled like a storm in their guts, the atmosphere thick with a sense of dread. So much weighed on them...

 

“So,” Erin suddenly blurted out, breaking the quiet. “Besides the job at Cornell, what else have you been doing since moving back to New York?”

 

Andy’s face brightened up as he replied, “Well, besides Cornell, I also found another musical theatre group that was actually willing to take me in. They said that episode where I sang in  _ Sweeney Todd  _ was all they needed to know I was good for them. I’m going to be playing Sir Lancelot in our production of  _ Spamalot _ .”

 

Erin had no idea what he was talking about, but she couldn’t help but let out a small laugh when thinking back to that old memory, replying, “I remember that. Those… those were good times.”

 

“Sure were. And how about you?”

 

“Well, not much has changed for me. I’ve been getting into some new hobbies. I’ve taken up kickboxing actually. It’s a lot of fun.”

 

“Really?” Andy responded with a laugh. “I never would’ve guessed that. But I guess that explains why your arms looked all toned.”

 

That actually drew a small chuckle from Erin. Andy noticed the little changes.

 

Why did she get excited from that?

 

But Andy then shook his head and added, “Pete must like it, huh?”

 

Why he would bring Pete up stunned Erin. She could tell that he felt uncomfortable around them, even with the big smile he’d put on for everyone else, including the cameras. But moreover...

 

“Oh, you don’t know? Did no one tell you?” 

 

“Tell me what?”

 

“Pete and I broke up a while ago.”

 

Andy raised an eyebrow at that. “But you two were hanging out a lot during the parties. I mean, you even danced together at Angela and Dwight’s wedding. That doesn’t look very broken up to me.”

 

“We’re still friends,” Erin explained. “Are friends not allowed to hang out and dance together? Just because we’re not together in that way anymore doesn’t mean we can’t be nice or care about each other.”

 

Andy went quiet at that. On the one hand, there was a small part of him (the old him, if anything else) that took a sick little delight out of how Erin’s relationship with Pete indeed did not last after all, in getting the last laugh. But on the other, breaking up was never fun no matter what the situation.

 

_ ‘Don’t be petty, Andy. Nothing good ever happened when you got petty.’ _

 

His inner Jiminy Cricket voice was right. So he followed it.

 

“Oh, really? I’m… I’m sorry to hear that, Erin. I know it couldn’t have been easy. On top of everything else going on back then.” He hoped she could tell his sympathy was genuine.

 

Erin gave a sad smile at that. “Yeah… it wasn’t an easy time. I was dealing with a lot, and then we broke up, so it was kind of like the cherry on top of the sundae, if the cherry was rotten and the ice cream was a gross flavor.”

 

Andy nodded, knowing all too well what it was like to be the object of Internet mockery. But even then, he at least didn’t get  _ death threats _ . Making fun of people? Sure, he understood that. But death threats and leaking someone’s private information? That was just despicable.

 

He asked, “If you don’t mind me asking… what happened exactly between you two?”

 

Erin simply shrugged and replied, “It just… didn’t work out.”

 

“Huh. I see. Well, I’m sorry it didn’t work out for you two.”

 

“It’s okay, Andy. Pete and I are better as friends anyway.”

 

“Have you been doing better now at least?” he asked, hoping he wasn’t prying too much.

 

Erin replied, “Yeah, actually, things have been getting better. It’s going a bit slow, but it is getting better. And you?”

 

“Same here. I’m glad to hear that you’re doing well in life, Erin.”

 

“Thanks.”

 

Another awkward silence took hold between the two, neither sure where else to take this conversation. There was so much more they wanted to say, with no idea how to put it all into words, and saying it would reopen so many old wounds that were still too painful… 

 

Andy clearly wanted to avoid any more uneasiness as he looked at his phone to check the time. “Well… I guess we should probably get going now.”

 

Erin nodded in agreement, “Right, we probably should. It’s been… great catching up and whatnot.”

 

“Yeah, it has been great. Again, I’m really sorry things weren’t great for you during all that stuff from last year.”

 

Erin smiled and replied, “It’s okay, Andy. I’m doing better now, so you don’t have to worry too much about me.”

 

“Right,” said Andy. He looked down at the ground for a second. “So, I guess this is goodbye then?”

 

“For now,” Erin answered, the tone of her voice sounding rather optimistic. “If you ever want to call, you can. Have a good night, Andy. Stay safe.” 

 

As he watched her walk away from him and toward her car, a thought suddenly hit Andy. It was an irrational thought, a foolish choice to take. But he just couldn’t ignore it. It felt…  _ wrong  _ to just let it close out on this note, even when everything sensible and rational in him was telling him not to go through with it.

 

_ ‘Screw it.’  _ He was going for it.

 

“Hey, Erin!” Andy called out. She stopped in her tracks and turned around to face him, her expression curious.

 

“Yes?”

 

“Do you… want to get a drink? Just the two of us? I mean, we’ve got a couple hours left before last call. That is, if you want to.”

 

Erin was taken aback slightly at this. She never really expected him to ask her to drink with him, alone, so straightforwardly. But then again, anyone could see that he had definitely gained a lot more confidence thanks to all he’d gone through the past year. It was actually a rather welcome development.

 

And besides, what harm could a couple drinks do?

 

She smiled at that and replied, “Sure, why not? I’ll drive us.  Anywhere you have in mind?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here is the long-coming reunion! I loved writing the dialogue as they reconnected; it's low-key but I found it very subtly sweet (as did my beta readers). I wanted to make a chapter title that fit the general awkwardness and atmosphere, so I did (and it's title-dropped twice). The next chapter will definitely be heating things up majorly if you get my drift. ;)
> 
> Astute readers may be able to pick up on the little shout-outs here and there, particularly the cult Creed was involved in during the 80s. I also named Erin's parents after their actors (Joan Cusack and Ed Begley Jr). And, because it felt oddly right to me, I made Pete a fan of psytrance music (check out Astrix, Infected Mushroom, and Emok to start off).
> 
> And finally, I will also take the moment to announce there will be a little thing of side stories/deleted scenes of this that will be published sometime soon, mainly expanding on the backstory a bit, as well as (spoilers!) stuff that happens after this story concludes. Be on the lookout for that, my dear readers!


	4. Not Like Odysseus and Penelope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the evening progresses, Andy and Erin both see that the previous year was not the end of them.

The bar was a small one, a hole in the wall establishment that could probably hold thirty people at max capacity. It was very simple and best of all, a little on the quieter side with a calm atmosphere, which was exactly what Erin and Andy needed after such a hectic day.

 

They leaned on a tall circular table, Erin with a cranberry vodka and Andy with a beer, sharing a laugh. Just like old times.

 

“I still can’t believe Ryan actually did that to his son,” Erin said with a shake of the head. Deliberately triggering a baby’s allergies to impress an ex-girlfriend that he was more exasperated by than anything else...

 

“ _ I _ still can’t believe Kelly ran off like that. Poor Ravi,” Andy remarked.

 

“Still, it sort of makes sense for them though,” Erin pointed out, taking another sip of her drink. “They kind of are meant for each other because they’re both so terrible.”

 

Andy shook his head again, laughing as he took another swig of his beer before he ruefully replied, “They really are the worst, aren't they? How sad is it that I actually can see Nellie being a better parent to that boy than either of those two?”

 

“Very sad,” Erin admitted with a nervous giggle. She always knew Andy had it in for Nellie, a grudge that she herself admitted in retrospect was not entirely unjustified. But he had a point - Nellie at least wanted a child, and Erin could sympathize with the orphan’s plight.

 

After a few more sips of their respective drinks, Erin decided to change the subject. “So, on another note… what exactly is  _ Spamalot _ ? That play you said your theatre group’s doing, what’s it about?”

 

“Wait a sec, you’ve never seen  _ Monty Python and the Holy Grail _ ?” Andy asked back incredulously.

 

“Uh, no, I don’t think I’d ever heard of it,” Erin admitted.

 

“It’s what  _ Spamalot _ is based on! It’s only one of the funniest movies ever!” Andy answered. “King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table trying to find the Holy Grail and take Camelot? You’ve really never heard of it?”

 

“No,” Erin repeated. “But if you say it’s funny, I guess I should check it out then, huh?”

 

“Of course you should! The whole thing’s just hilarious! We’re all really excited to be putting on our first show.”

 

“Your theatre group’s good then, I take it?” Erin asked, smiling with a small giggle.

 

“Yeah, they’re amazing,” Andy answered, beaming. “I mean, they’re not as fun as everyone had been at Dunder Mifflin but they’re good.”

 

As she listened to Andy talk, Erin couldn’t help but smile, loving the way he spoke with so much passion, the way his face lit up. It was a stark contrast to how he was at the office after-party. He was so much… looser it seemed now, flowing naturally as he talked about his theatre troupe. He was so adorable when he smiled…

 

She really did miss him. He had changed in a lot of ways, but he was still Andy at heart… funny, silly Andy, who had a good heart underneath it all.

 

And before she could stop herself, much less actually think about it, Erin went for it, taking his face into her hands as she leaned in and kissed him.

 

Andy initially recoiled in surprise, but then quickly returned the kiss, wrapping his arms around her waist, holding her close. It felt… nice. Wonderful, even. The sensation of his lips hadn’t changed - still warm and soft, and even all the alcohol he drank throughout the day didn’t mask the honey-like taste of him that was mixed with the peppermint-flavored lip balm he used. It was comfortable, like revisiting an old favorite and seeing it still held up. But there was also something new to the way he was kissing her now; the best way to put it was that he was a bit steadier. It was exciting like an electrical synergy ran between them. Erin wished time could stop so they could stay like this forever.

 

But reality harshly set back in again when their lips parted away and their eyes opened and they both realized what they’d done. Erin’s face became as red as her hair and she immediately pulled away from Andy, who barely put up a struggle in his own dumbfounded state. But before they could begin to make sense of what just happened…

 

“Well, well, well! Look at what the cat dragged in!”

 

_ ‘Oh dear God, no,’ _ was the thought that went through both of their heads the second they heard and recognized that voice. Turning around with dread, they could see  _ him _ .

 

Todd Finch Packer was here, with a malicious mile-wide grin, a slightly disheveled suit, and a full glass of whiskey in one hand.

 

“Todd?” Andy asked in shock. “How did you get here?”

 

The bald man sneered as he took a large gulp of his drink and replied, “I flew, dumbass, that’s how!”

 

Todd was clearly not in a good mood. Even from where they were standing, Andy and Erin could both smell the heavy scent of hard liquor coming off him.

 

“Well, what are you doing here?” Andy asked. As if things weren’t awkward enough already, he also had to cross paths with one of the worst people he had the displeasure of knowing.

 

“Well, I was hoping to crash the whole thing, since the documentary crew wouldn’t fly me out here,” Todd mused. “But I find out I arrived too late, so nothing on that then.”

 

_ ‘But of course. And thank you God and Jesus for that.’ _

 

“But now I see the two of you here in this craphole, and boy, what were the odds, huh?” Todd said, a vicious grin forming on his face. “I mean, damn, Bernard, I always knew you were a spineless pussy, but to actually go back to that slut after everything she did to you? That’s a whole new level right there. Surprised you can even stand up straight.”

 

Before Erin could say it wasn’t what it looked like (which even she knew was a total load of crock), Andy immediately said through clenched teeth, “You take that back, Todd.”

 

“What?” Todd asked tauntingly. “Calling you a pussy or her a slut?”

 

“Andy, don’t listen to him,” Erin said sharply, firmly grabbing his shoulder to hold him back, silently telling him they should just go.

 

Todd just laughed before his gaze shifted to Erin, a lecherous look forming on his face, creeping her out thoroughly. His eyes moved up and down her form, a crooked smile forming as he wistfully said, “Boy, I do regret never asking her for a blowie. Then again, if I’d known she gave them out so freely, I would’ve totally jumped at that.”

 

Todd’s statement made the bile rise up in Andy’s throat. It reminded him too much of all those horrible abuses those cowards on the Internet, hiding behind their keyboards and anonymity, heaped on Erin last year, the insults and the threats of physical and sexual violence, the death threats… 

 

“Well,” Erin said through a strained fake smile, her voice breaking Andy out of his musings, “it was nice to see you again, Todd, but for the record, even if I was loose, I wouldn’t blow you for all the tea in China. Goodbye and have a safe trip back home.”

 

Andy laughed at that, remarking, “Ooh, now  _ that’s  _ a burn! Let’s go, Erin.” And with that they turned to walk out of the bar. But Todd was not done yet.

 

“Hey, Nard-Dog! How can you still kiss that mouth of hers after she gargled Plop’s clam chowder?! Do you like the taste of that?! Probably blew a lot more dudes behind your back and that skinny Gabe prick’s back too, I’m sure!” Todd bellowed.

 

*CRACK*

 

It all happened so fast, yet Erin felt like time moved in slow motion there as Andy bolted from her and towards Todd, delivering a vicious right hook to the slimeball’s mug hard enough to not only leave an audible sound but also send him toppling to the floor.

 

The other patrons looked on in shock at the scene before them. And while Todd was nursing a sore cheek and a bloody mouth, Andy was gripping the hand he had used for the punch.

 

“Damn, that  _ hurt _ !” Andy realized in shock, his knuckles throbbing and aching. Punching a person in the face was quite different from punching a hole into a flimsy piece of office building drywall.

 

“Oh,  _ you’re  _ hurt?!” Todd spat angrily. “You’re not the one who got punched!”

 

“Well, you deserved it!” Andy yelled back through gritted teeth. “And I’ll dish out more if you want them, you sicko!”

 

“Andy, that’s enough, stop!” Erin yelled, grabbing Andy’s arm to pull him away. “Come on. Let’s go, we don’t need to waste any more time with this jerk.”

 

Deciding Erin was right, Andy followed her out. Doing that feel so good though! Cathartic even. He genuinely had to wonder how anyone at Dunder Mifflin could’ve kept their patience around Todd for the duration he’d worked there, even when taking his sales into account. Sure, Michael was similar in having no internal filter and a lack of self-awareness, but he was overall well-meaning and was a good guy in spite of all his flaws. Todd was just plain rude, crude, and obnoxious, with no redeeming qualities whatsoever. 

 

“Yeah, you two go on ahead and have fun exchanging STDs together!” Todd spat. “Heard gonorrhea has been getting harder to treat! Hope it burns when you take a piss! Yo, Bernard, would you raise the kid she’d birth from that night with Tyrone?”

 

*CRACK*

 

Now it was Erin’s turn to deliver. She delivered a hard left hook to the other side of Todd’s face, making it so she would leave a matching bruise to go with the one developing where Andy had punched. Despite her small frame, Erin had months of practice and threw every pound of her weight into the punch, which sent Todd stumbling back against the jukebox.

 

“Shut up, Todd! Just shut up! You are a sick and horrible piece of slime that doesn’t even qualify as a person! You are disgusting and the worst and I hope you die alone because you have nothing and no one!” Erin screamed at him.

 

“Yeah, you tell him!” Andy cheered. “Come on Erin, let's get out!”

 

With that, the two turned to leave, ignoring Todd’s angry rants at them, his insults uninspired and threats clearly too ineffectual to be taken seriously.

 

As soon as they were out, Erin let out a string of giggles somewhere between scared and excited. “Andy, that was just... what just happened back there?!”

 

Andy couldn’t help but laugh along with her as he answered, “We just beat the tar out of Todd Packer, that’s what happened!”

 

The two of them continued laughing as they ran over to Erin’s car, hoping to get out before any more trouble followed them. Suddenly, Erin tripped and stumbled. Her reflexes were dulled out enough by the drinks she had through the night to cause her to land on her left knee. She hissed loudly in pain as she slowly got back up, Andy noticing the bloody scrape forming there. A realization then came to him, so he quickly helped her get steady, gently propping her arm up o his to stabilize her walking.

 

“Looks like you’ve had a little too much,” Andy remarked.

 

“Maybe,” Erin mumbled as she examined her knee. The bleeding wasn’t too bad, but she definitely needed to bandage it up.

 

“If you’re okay with it, I can drive you back,” Andy offered. “Don’t want you to get a DUI or anything.”

 

Erin nodded a yes to that, knowing he was right, handing him her keys. They got to her car, Erin taking her seat in the passenger’s side while Andy took to the driver’s side, adjusting the seat and mirror positions accordingly.

 

The drive to her apartment was quick and quiet. It was actually a nicer place compared to the apartment he’d seen her in over five years ago too, Andy noticed, being located in a better part of town and generally cleaner. He parked in the space she pointed out for him and turned off the car.

 

“I’ll walk with you,” he quickly offered. “You know since it’s dark and all.”

 

Erin replied, “I would like that, actually.” Her eyes then widened. “Andy, your hand! Look at your right hand!”

 

He looked at it and was taken aback by what he saw - a purple bruise forming over his knuckles. The part that he used to punch Todd’s face in. Erin’s voice cut through his musings.

 

“Come with me, I'll give you an ice pack when we get in.”

 

They hastily exited her car and walked up the stairs to her apartment. Erin turned on the lights as they walked in. Andy took in the sights of her living space - a simple studio apartment furnished with a bed, couch, desk, chair, and coffee table that looked like they came out of an Ikea catalog, with soft, warm shades of reds and yellows; decorations were minimal, consisting mainly of little pictures of Erin’s favorite things and places, along with a couple houseplants and cute little figurines; a computer and a TV; the kitchen and bathroom clean and well kept.

 

“I’ll take care of my knee, then I’ll get the ice pack. I’ll be done in a few minutes,” Erin told him as she ran to the bathroom. She closed the door and the tap water began running. Andy took a seat on the couch. 

 

As he waited, Andy began wondering. He definitely didn’t expect the night to have gone like this so far, but… he didn’t actually mind it.

 

_ ‘What are you doing, you moron?! You’re in her place now! You know what’s going to happen! Abort this now! Abort, ABORT!’  _ his conscience kept screaming at him. But then the sound of the bathroom door opening immediately shut the voice up.

 

When Erin came out of the bathroom, he saw she had changed clothes, having gotten rid of the cocktail dress she’d been wearing in favor of a pair of simple grey sweatpants and a pink shirt. The bun her hair had been pulled into was now changed into a loose ponytail and her make-up was scrubbed off. She went to the fridge in the kitchen, taking out an ice pack from the freezer. As she took a seat next to Andy and placed the cold pack on his bruised hand, a small laugh came from her.

 

“I guess you kinda came to my rescue again,” she said, a faintly wistful tone inflecting her statement.

 

Andy waved his free hand flippantly. “It was nothing, Erin. Todd’s an asshole and he deserved what he got. Besides, you took him out too. You’ve gotten really… badass.”

 

She smiled at the compliment. “That’s the power of kickboxing classes!”

 

They both giggled a little at that before it subsided into an awkward silence. Both could sense there was a lot more the other wanted to say. It was the elephant in the room, and it was not going away. The silence spoke volumes in its own way. They sure as hell were not like Odysseus and Penelope, the former a great and brave hero of epic tales and the latter his loyal wife who patiently waited twenty long years for his return.

 

Unable to keep it in any longer, Erin snapped.

 

“Why did you go like that?” Erin asked suddenly. Before she let him respond, she got up out of her seat and, with a shaking voice, hands curled into fists at her sides, and clenched teeth, continued, “I waited for you. Defended you. Missed you. All the while, you were off on a boat for three months, playing bongo drums on the beach, and you just went completely quiet on me! So I’m gonna ask again -  **_why_ ** ?”

 

Andy winced at that; when he watched how his actions played out in the documentary, all he could do was wonder why he thought that was a good idea or if he even was thinking at all. But he had to be honest with Erin. He at least owed her that.

 

“I was in a horrible place, Erin. Like, ‘emotional rock bottom’ horrible place,” Andy replied, looking her right in the eyes as he explained himself. “I was still having all these problems with trying to actually feel good about myself even after that camp David sent me to. My parents always made me feel like I was never good enough, and my dad bankrupting us made it even worse, and I was so ashamed of everything and everyone, especially myself, and I always needed someone to hold my hand through everything whenever stuff went badly for me, which was all the time, and… it always pushed them away because they couldn’t handle it. I didn’t want to put that burden on you.”

 

“So you thought I wasn't strong enough to help handle your problems?” Erin asked, the grimace growing deeper. “You left me alone for three months because you thought I sucked as a girlfriend and-”

 

“No!” Andy interrupted. “I didn’t leave and go quiet on you because you sucked, Erin. I left because  _ I  _ sucked! I had to get past all that and stop letting my family rule my life!”

 

“At least you had parents!” Erin retorted. “I spent a large part of my life thinking I was unlovable because no one would take me in. I always felt like I never really fit in with anyone, and it took a long time for me to find it, only to lose it!”

 

Andy shot back, “Oh please, parents don’t mean jack when they’re horrible. I’ve only just  _ started _ learning how to shut my dad’s voice up whenever I hear it in my head. And it’s still not easy because I’ve had to hear it every day for as long as I can remember! Here’s a little newsflash for you - it’s kinda hard to maintain any sort of confidence when you’ve constantly been told you’re not good enough by the people who are supposed to be your biggest supporters. I’ll admit I was selfish and insecure, and stupid, and even when other people actually liked me or things were going well for me, I still found a way to ruin things for myself, but I’ve gotten better about it!”

 

“Found a way to ruin a good thing for yourself, that’s what still happened here,” Erin spat, surprising even herself with the high level of acrimony in her statement.

 

Andy rolled his eyes and shot back, “Well tell me this then, Erin - what about Pete? I mean, it’s not like he just arrived yesterday.”

 

Erin flinched but stood her ground no less. “He was there for me when you were gone. He helped me. He wouldn’t leave me or forget about me. He would trust me to help with his problems.”

 

Andy sneered at that and noted, “Yeah, and look how well  _ that  _ worked out.” Erin gasped and her jaw dropped in shock at that low blow, but before she could retaliate, Andy quickly added, “Here’s a little question for you - what if Pete wasn’t there? Would it have been someone else? Or no one at all?”

 

Pete asked that same question more or less when he broke up with her. And Erin still didn’t have an answer for that.

 

No, that wasn’t true. She had an answer, but it wasn’t a great one.

 

“Well?” Andy pressed, teeth gritted in anger and impatience.

 

“I don’t know!” Erin cried, tears pooling in her eyes. Her voice then went small and soft as she continued, “Maybe… if he wasn’t… maybe I would’ve still stayed… but I don’t know if it would’ve worked… or if… I would’ve been happy even then.”

 

Andy’s shoulders fell at that. “So is that it then? Was it really just never meant to work out between us? I mean, there's gotta be something still there even after everything that’s happened, because, for some reason or another, here we are, clearly unable to stop ourselves from jumping back in with each other!”

 

Erin groaned and rolled her eyes. “We had a lot of problems, Andy. You had your parent issues and I was…”

 

She trailed off, not wanting to say it. But Andy knew what it was.

 

“You were still convinced you were unlovable and while I was gone, you latched on to the first person to show you affection,” he finished, his voice lightly laced with bitter anger as he said that.

 

“Maybe I did!” Erin argued back. “But I am not a monster for trying to chase my happiness! I had to deal with a lot, most of it on my own. I’ve lost a lot, but I got back up.”

 

“But are you happy?” Andy asked her.

 

That stung her deep. Truth be told, she really wasn’t. She had thrown herself into her work, into new pursuits, and sure that helped, but it didn’t give her as much fulfillment as she’d hoped. But she was not going to let him know that.

 

“I could ask you the same thing, you know.” She then sighed, looking off to the side with a pained scowl and her voice flat as she remarked, “Whatever, it came, it happened, and it didn’t work out. Just forget it.”

 

Andy narrowed his eyes and spat back, “You know what? I did. I moved on. I’m finally in a good place, I’ve worked hard on being a better person and being happy with myself, and I think I’m doing well so far.” 

 

“If you’ve really moved on… then why did you kiss me back at the bar?” Erin asked, looking back at him accusingly.

 

“I could ask  _ you  _ the same thing,” Andy retorted, echoing her earlier deflection. “You were the one who started it after all.”

 

“Well, _ I _ asked first!” Erin hissed, eyes darting to the side and her cheeks flushing slightly upon being reminded of that. A moment passed before she sighed again and calmed down. With a softer tone, she asked Andy, “Why do you think we did that?”

 

For a moment, Andy was quiet. He looked down at his shoes, trying to figure out how to put the answer into words. And then, he got up out of his seat, walked up to her, and gently took Erin’s face into his hands, nudging her to look at him. Erin felt herself leaning into his touch despite every rational part of her saying she shouldn't like this, she shouldn’t even be  _ doing _ this.

 

“If you want my honest opinion,” Andy replied, his voice firm, “I think the reason why we both did that was... because we haven’t moved on. Because it wasn’t over. It still isn’t over.”

 

Before Erin could fully process his answer, an answer that made a frightening amount of sense, Andy crushed her lips against his, kissing her feverishly.

 

It wasn’t like the kiss from back at the bar. No tenderness was to be found here. It was desperate and  _ hungry _ , almost bruising. Erin squeaked in surprise at first, but that feeling quickly subsided as she returned the kiss with equal fervor, running her hands through Andy’s hair. His tongue darted out, gently prying at her bottom lip to open her mouth. Erin let it in, feeling a shiver run up her spine and spread through her whole body as she felt him lick at her own tongue.

 

Erin was so caught up in the kiss that she didn't notice they had moved from the couch. She felt herself falling backward, landing on the mattress of her bed, Andy on top of her. He got up, quickly unbuttoning his shirt and shedding off his shoes and socks, leaving on his Hanes undershirt and slacks. The look in his eyes left her quivering. Single-minded desire. 

 

“Andy...” she gasped out. She wanted to say something about how they shouldn’t be doing this, but she couldn’t bring herself to. He simply responded by slowly pecking little kisses all over her face, starting from her forehead and working his way down to her left eyelid, her cheeks, nose, the corners of her mouth, that spot between her jaw and chin, trailing up to her right ear, causing goosebumps to spread all over her body. He still remembered how she liked that.

 

“If you want me to stop, tell me and I will,” he whispered to her. “Swear on it.”

 

Her hands shook as she trailed them up Andy's sides, lowering underneath his chest and stopping to grip at his shoulders. Any voice in her head objecting to this went on unlistened to. She looked into his eyes, the bright blue clouded with desire. Desire, but also the hope that she wouldn't reject him, yet expecting her to all the same. He needed an answer.

 

“Don't stop.”

 

That was all he needed. Andy quickly took off his undershirt, throwing it off to the side without a care for where it would land. Erin could see he was a bit leaner now and there was even a little hint of a healthy tan going on, proving he wasn't lying about taking up jogging. He made quick work of her own shirt, easily pulling it up over her head, exposing her breasts, her small pink nipples hardening in the cool air.

 

Andy was certainly not wasting any time, planting his lips firmly on her left breast, suckling her nipple gently. Erin gasped, biting her lip as she arched her back up, encouraging Andy to take all he wanted. He certainly understood the message, moving one hand down her belly and into her pants. He cupped his hand in between her thighs, rubbing his fingers against the fabric of her underwear.

 

“Say it,” he breathed in a commanding voice. “Tell me what you want.”

 

“ **_You_ ** ,” she replied.

 

Andy withdrew his hand out from her pants, earning a sound of yearning disappointment from her. He began pulling her pants off from her legs, leaving her in nothing but her simple white cotton undies. There was a band-aid on her knee. Erin was always naturally thin and petite, but here it was clear how her newfound hobby paid off.

 

“You’re so beautiful,” he told her, running his hands up her outer thighs towards her hips, grabbing Erin’s legs to drag her over towards himself. He yanked her underwear down, exposing her pussy fully to his view. He trailed two fingers up the slit of her opening before stopping at the lips of her folds, parting them to expose her clit. She wasn’t fully shaved but the red curls were trimmed well at the sides, leaving a little strip of hair in the center. Every inch of her was so gorgeous.

 

Immediately, he spread her thighs and went down. Even when he was the spoiled and selfish trust fund kid, he always liked going down on a woman. It was entirely for his partner’s own pleasure than his, so why he liked doing this was a mystery even to himself, but he didn’t mind it. And he especially loved going down on Erin; her pussy was like a drug he couldn’t get enough of. Erin let out a loud moan of ecstasy as Andy’s tongue came into direct contact with her sensitive little clit, gripping tightly at the blanket underneath her.

 

He continued at this, doing long and maddeningly slow licks up and down the little bundle of nerves. One of his hands was up on the bottom of her left thigh, lifting her leg up into the air to give himself better access, while his other hand was aiding his mouth along in pleasuring her. He slid his middle finger into her slick entrance, smirking to himself when he felt how wet she was for him. Erin’s legs shook, gasps and squeals coming out of her as Andy kept at this, thrusting and crooking his finger around inside her.

 

“You like that?” he asked, voice low and husky. Watching her writhe under him, listening to her in so much pleasure was a pleasure in itself for him. His pants were starting to feel tight against his growing erection. It was a challenge to not strip his pants off and take her like this right then and there.

 

“Yes,” Erin gasped, biting her lip as he continued at this. Her brain felt like it turned to jello as Andy slipped in a second finger, his ministrations on her clit alternating between little sucks, licks, and little teasing blows. The only sounds she could make at this point were barely coherent pleas for more.

 

And then suddenly he stopped. Erin whined with disappointment, feeling empty as Andy withdrew his fingers from her. She was throbbing and desperately needy down there, the pleasure still sending shockwaves up throughout her body.

 

She could see what Andy was doing to explain why he had stopped. He took the last of his clothes off, revealing his full erection. Erin sighed with a smile. Andy was blessed down there, a little longer than the average length, and she always liked that. She almost had to laugh slightly at the fact that he was also completely shaved there; he usually did keep it neatly trimmed, but never had she seen him completely bare. It actually made it appear bigger too.

 

“Get up, Erin,” he said to her, almost commanding. 

 

Erin breathlessly got up, immediately knowing what to do. She knelt down on the floor in front of Andy, who leaned himself against the edge of the bed as she came face-to-face with his erect shaft. She grabbed it firmly in both hands, her tongue darting out and circling the tip of the head, paying special attention to the sensitive slit leaking pre-cum.

 

Andy gave a deep moan of approval and Erin increased her ministrations, bobbing her head up and down at varying paces along his length while rubbing her hands in sync with her mouth. He ran a hand through her hair, undoing the ponytail it was pulled up into and letting the curls cascade down. The way she opened her eyes to look up at him as she continued sucking him off aroused him even more; it was the sexiest look ever.

 

As much as he wanted more, he couldn't keep staying in this, lest he lose himself too soon. “That’s good, Erin, you can stop.”

 

When she did, leaving his shaft glistening wet, Andy took her hand and helped her back up before pushing her back to the bed. She squeaked in surprise as she landed back on the mattress. Andy pounced on top of her, eyes darkened with lust as he crawled over her, the tip of his erection grazing against her leg. He proceeded to run his fingers through her hair; he always loved playing with her hair whenever they were intimate, weaving his fingers through it, curling the ringlets around his fingers, and massaging her scalp. He kissed the right side of her neck, taking in a deep breath of the smell of her skin. She still liked using scented soaps and body sprays that smelled like tropical flowers. 

 

“Andy, please,” Erin pleaded, her fingers gripping his shoulders tightly. He responded by taking her lips into a kiss as he grabbed the undersides of her thighs, pushing her legs up and holding them back to fully open her up to him, and swiftly thrust inside.

 

Erin moaned with bliss, feeling so full as he slid in as deep as he could go. Andy was similarly in a state of ecstasy, having missed the warm, soft, and tight feel of her body around him. He began moving his hips back and forth, in and out, Erin’s body bouncing against him. She clutched a pillow tightly with one hand while the other gripped at Andy’s arm, her moans high pitched as she cried out in pleasure with each movement, especially when he began going fast.

 

“You're amazing, Erin,” Andy breathed. He suddenly withdrew from her, causing her a moment of confusion. However, the feeling was only brief, as Andy proceeded to flip her over on her stomach. He lifted her hips up to his level, grabbing her butt into his hands as he thrust back inside.

 

Erin buried her face into the blanket, clutching the sheets tightly as Andy took her. Her whole body was on fire and new sensations washed over her as she’d never experienced this position before. Most guys before never figured she’d be the type to like being taken from behind and she never pushed it even when she was curious. His hands firmly gripped her hips as he slid through her back and forth. It was torturous, as he would sometimes speed up and then slow down, his pacing all over the place. Her head was so foggy and she wasn’t sure how much more she could handle. 

 

Not that she minded.

 

And then it was another change in positions after what felt like an hour (but was more likely several minutes), this time with Andy laying on his back as Erin sat on top of him. She felt clumsy trying to ride him but managed to get a flow going, slowly rocking her hips up and down along his shaft. Andy ran his hands all over her body, squeezing and groping her at her breasts, rubbing her back as he gently pushed her down to meet his face and kiss him again. As she was crouched down, his hands traveled downwards to grab her backside as he began rocking his own hips, steadily thrusting to help keep their momentum steady. She dug her nails into his shoulders; in this position, he was so deep inside her, it almost hurt.  _ Almost. _

 

She was getting close. Andy changed their positions for the last haul, her on her back again with her thighs spread open and pushed back as he picked up the pace on his thrusts. Erin’s chest heaved up and down with gasping breaths and squealing moans as she was approaching the threshold, each thrust stroking against that spot that she liked and…

 

_ ‘Yes, yes, YES!!’ _

 

Her heart pounding in her ears, Erin’s whole body shook as her orgasm claimed her fully, leaving her seeing stars behind her eyes. 

 

Andy was approaching his end too. Reluctantly, he pulled out. Letting out a harsh sound between a gasp and grunt through gritted teeth, Andy finished himself off, the spurts of his release spilling out all over Erin’s belly.

 

For a moment, they stayed like this, catching their breaths, gazing into each other’s eyes.

 

Not even for a fleeting second did it feel wrong, like they made a bad choice. 

 

Ever so slowly, Andy got off Erin, both making a quick run for the bathroom to clean themselves off. They were both quiet, partly due to still reeling from the intensity that happened not even a few minutes ago, and partly due to not wanting to think too much on it. Erin, in particular, appeared to be operating on autopilot, wiping herself down with a wet washcloth before trudging over to the bed and falling right in.

 

“Come to me,” she slurred to him.

 

He couldn’t help himself. Andy was worn out too, and sleep sounded so nice right now. Especially with her.

 

Crawling under the covers, Andy felt Erin scoot closer towards him, resting her head against his chest. The warmth and exhaustion caught up with him and he soon drifted off, the last thought going through his head was that he wished the morning wouldn’t come, if only because, right here, right now, everything was absolutely perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here it is, the big climax of the story (hehe, pun kind of intended). Not really much to say about this besides the importance of the title. I mean, no forking way I'm so pretentious or arrogant as to say I'm writing an allegory to Homer's epic poem, though there are odd little parallels involving a boat and the fact that Odysseus lived on the Greek island of Ithaca, which the town of Ithaca, New York (where Cornell is located) was named after.
> 
> Keep your eyes peeled for both the next chapter of this and the next update for the Side Stories and Deleted Scenes. Feedback appreciated on all fronts.


	5. This is Fine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after comes, and with it, the fallout.

Andy’s head hurt as he slowly felt himself awaken from his nice peaceful slumber. Definitely a hangover, and he needed a drink of water badly. His eyelids slowly opened, eyes straining to adjust to the morning light coming in through the blinds. As he was slowly becoming more conscious, several realizations hit him in rapid succession.

 

First, he was not in his hotel room.

 

Second, he was completely naked and there was a body right next to him.

 

Third, he indeed wasn’t dreaming and he actually did go into Erin’s apartment and they had sex last night. A lot of it, in fact. And he really enjoyed it. And, unless she was faking it (which was highly unlikely), Erin liked it too.

 

He quickly slipped out of the bed, running to the bathroom and shutting the door. Turning the faucet on, Andy splashed a few handfuls of cold water on his face before looking at himself in the mirror. He then groaned, burying his face into his hands, the full implications of what happened last night sinking in. One part of him was horrified and angry with himself for getting so swept up in old feelings that he had worked so hard over the last year trying to get over. But on the other hand…

 

Everything about last night was so perfect and felt so amazing and so _right_. Not the sex itself, but the fact that he and Erin still had feelings for each other...

 

“Oh fuck…” he said to himself as more horrifying realizations dawned on him.

 

First, there was the fact that he didn't use any protection last night, and he wasn't sure if Erin was on any birth control either. Sure, he pulled out, but that wasn't an entirely reliable method. What if he’d gotten her pregnant? What would they do if she was?

 

Second, and (arguably) more importantly… now what? Where would they go from here? Was there even anywhere to go at all?

 

Before he could think any further on that, much less try to escape unnoticed (as much of a jerk move that would be), the bathroom door swung open, revealing Erin, wearing her shirt and underwear from last night.

 

“No.”

 

Erin turned away, pacing around in the main room. “No, no, no, no!” she kept saying, grabbing her hair into her hands, voice breaking.

 

Andy reached out to her in an effort to calm her down. “Erin, if it’s about last night, please-”

 

“This wasn’t supposed to happen!” she cried, looking like she was about to hyperventilate. “How? Why?!”

 

She collapsed on the bed, face buried in her hands as she let out a loud and agonized groan. Andy wanted to reach out and comfort her, but he wasn’t sure how receptive she’d be to touching from him, even after he had touched her in the most intimate ways last night. All he could do was talk.

 

“Erin, you know why we did that,” Andy said to her as calmly as he could. “We-”

 

“I know what we did!” she interrupted him. “I just… I don’t know what to do now. What do we do now? Where do we go from here?”

 

That was the million dollar question right there.

 

“Well, obviously we can't just pretend like this didn't happen or that things can just go back to the way they used to be,” Andy replied slowly.

 

Erin took several deep breaths to steady herself as she nodded. “You are right, yeah…”

 

For a moment, they were both silent as Andy put his clothes back on and Erin sat up straight to compose herself. Now there was an even bigger elephant in the room, one that would stomp all over them if they tried to ignore it.

 

“Seriously though,” Andy began, taking a seat next to Erin on the edge of the bed, “last night proved it. We tried to move on, and we couldn’t. We still… we still have feelings for each other. What happened last year was not the end of us.”

 

“I know,” Erin replied, looking down at her toes.

 

“So what do you think then?” Andy asked. “Do you think… there’s another chance for us?”

 

“I don’t know,” Erin admitted. “Maybe…”

 

“Maybe?” Andy asked incredulously. “ _Maybe_? Are you being serious here? What do you mean maybe?”

 

“Exactly that,” Erin said firmly. “Okay, sure, we still have feelings for each other. I’m not going to deny that. But… I don’t know. I… how do we do this? How could we make it work after we tried and failed _twice_ before?”

 

Andy went quiet again, knowing all too well that Erin had a very good point there. He thought that way too. He didn’t plan for this to happen any more than she did. They were swept up by old feelings, by an unresolved past that wouldn’t let them go and move on. And why wouldn’t the past let them go?

 

“Well… what if we could make it work this time?” Andy asked. “What if we can do it the right way this time?”

 

“And how do you propose we do it ‘the right way’?” she asked back, putting air quotes around the last three words.

 

“By doing the things that a good relationship is supposed to have! You know, like openness and communication and all that!” Andy replied. All the while, he wondered to himself why Erin was being so hesitant, if not outright resistant to the idea. And, if he had to be honest with himself, it was getting a little frustrating.

 

“It does sound nice, yeah,” Erin admitted. “But how can I trust that you’ve really changed? That I can trust you completely if we were to… give it another shot?”

 

Andy had to resist the urge to scream in exasperation. “What do you mean you aren't sure you can trust me completely?! I know I made a horrible mistake with the boat and going quiet on you and all that! But I actually made peace with my family and I've got my life together now! I have a good job, I'm actually being a responsible adult! Hell, I even saw a therapist for a bit!”

 

“Yeah, sure you’ve gotten better, I believe it when you say you have,” Erin agreed. She then scathingly added, “But that’s not enough to give me hope that you’re not going to bail out on me and neglect me and our relationship again the minute something bad happens!”

 

“What else do you want me to **_do_** , Erin?!” Andy asked back, voice raised and arms were thrown up, unable to believe she was still dredging that up. “I owned up to it all! I apologized! I would've left you alone to be with Pete when I thought you two were still together! I told you I would stop if you wanted me to stop!” His hands flapped about as he growled, “This… you… this fucking vacillation! Seriously… I’m done! Enough is enough!”

 

He turned around to storm out, but Erin stepped in front of him. As small as she was, she gave off an imposing vibe and actually stopped Andy right in his tracks.

 

“We're not done talking here, Mister!” she snarled at him, jabbing her finger into his chest. “What is that supposed to mean, this vacillation?!”

 

“It means that you're being indecisive and flip-flopping on this!” Andy answered through gritted teeth. His scowl became deeper as he angrily added, “You know, for all the ways you don't think I would actually be serious about this, I could say the same for you.”

 

“And how is that, huh?!”

 

“Well, for one thing, how am I supposed to know that you actually want me back and want to be in it for the long haul and not just because… I don’t know, because you feel guilty about what happened last year?”

 

“ _Guilty?_  Is that really what you think this is? That I’m just doing this out of guilt?!” Erin asked indignantly.

 

“Well, you can’t deny that you felt the need to apologize to me last night. It’s what kickstarted all this,” Andy pointed out bluntly.

 

Erin went silent at that, his words striking at something deep inside her. He wasn’t entirely wrong; she _did_ feel guilty about last year. But even that didn’t feel like enough to cover why she felt such a strong desire to reach out to him. After a couple of minutes of an uncomfortable and heavy silence, punctuated only by the sounds of both taking several deep breaths to center and calm themselves down, Erin was able to find her voice.

 

“Look, Andy,” Erin began, “I really honestly don’t know what to do or what to think right now. And… I don’t think you really know either. I don’t want to just jump into something just because there’s this stuff from the past coming back. I… I think we need to think about this. Like, really think hard about… whatever this is and… whatever we do next.”

 

He processed her statement before he sighed and nodded. “You’re right,” he admitted, voice soft and somber. “What… will you do then?”

 

“I’m going to be with my parents for the afternoon,” Erin replied. “And you… I don’t know, but I think Darryl’s still in town until tomorrow. I think it would help us to at least spend some time with the others before they have to go.”

 

He supposed she had a point, a decent idea. “Right.”

 

Just as Andy turned around and was about to turn the doorknob to open the door up and exit the apartment, Erin took his wrist, prompting him to turn around.

 

“I’m sorry… about last night,” she said to him in a low voice, eyes downcast in shame.

 

Andy shook his head and replied, “No. You shouldn’t be sorry for anything. I wasn’t thinking at all last night. I just got caught up in everything and… I couldn't stop myself even though I knew I should've.”

 

“You weren’t the only one.”

 

Although he knew that was true, it still didn’t quite ease the feeling of guilt and shame gnawing away at him, nor did it silence the rational voice in his head that he ignored all of last night and was now screaming “I TOLD YOU SO, IDIOT!” and other variations thereof at him.

 

“I guess I'll see you later,” Andy said, voice flat and dull as he exited the apartment. Thankfully, his phone had enough charge to summon an Uber. The wait was short, and mercifully, the driver didn’t attempt to make much conversation with him. Andy wasn’t even able to form many coherent thoughts anyway.

 

Not without thinking of the titanically, colossally stupid choices he had made.

 

It wasn’t even the fact that he had slept with her last night so much as it was the fact that he had proven to himself without a shadow of a doubt he couldn’t let it go.

 

He had taken a few steps forward, and a giant leaping somersault backward.

 

The diver pulled into the front of the hotel. With a quick thanks, Andy exited. As he did, he began to brokenly laugh to himself.

 

“This is fine,” Andy said to himself through a cracked grin as he made his Walk of Shame into the hotel lobby, ignoring the odd looks some of the other patrons were giving him. He wished the whole place would burn down into an inferno and kill him and everyone else inside, just so he could stop feeling so horrible.

 

“It's fine…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the chapter of The Morning After. Not much to say about this, it's pretty standard stuff. We are almost done, and it's going to be a bumpy ride still. Stay tuned!


	6. The More They Stay the Same

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Andy and Erin spend some time apart to figure out where to go from here.

For the first couple of minutes after he returned to his hotel room, Andy continuously hit his head against the wall. He felt stupid and horrible and just wanted to give himself brain damage now so he wouldn’t have to think about his stupid and horrible actions from last night anymore.

 

It didn’t work. All it did was exacerbate the headache caused by the thoughts running around in his mind.

 

Mainly… _why_?

 

Why couldn’t he just move on? Why couldn’t the past just let him go? Why did these stupid feelings have to be so fucking strong?

 

_‘Why am I such a self-destructive moron?’_

 

After that, he decided to text Darryl, who still had a full day left in Scranton to hang out. He knew he could rely on the man that had been one of his best friends, if not _the_ best, at Dunder Mifflin for some sound advice.

 

_Hey Darryl, it’s Andy. Just thinking since we’re still here for a day before we have to go back tomorrow, how about we hang out a little?_

 

Two minutes later, he got a response.

 

_Sure! At Jim and Pam’s right now. You can join if you want. Or I can meet later tonight. Your choice._

 

He mulled on that for a moment. While this was a heavy situation and not one he wanted to share with too many people, he figured Jim and Pam were probably the second best people to ask for advice. Their rock-solid stability was enviable, in all honesty.

 

_Sure, I’ll join. I’ll take an uber. See you later._

 

Once he sent it out, Andy went into the bathroom, shed away his clothes and got into the shower. It definitely helped refresh him both physically and mentally, the warm water soothing his admittedly aching muscles while getting his mind off last night… or at least be able to think about it a little more clearly.

 

Maybe, just _maybe_ , he could get some outside help on this.

 

After drying off and brushing his teeth, Andy put on a pair of tan slacks and a dark green polo shirt. He grabbed his phone, seeing it had charged fully, and opened up the Uber app to book a ride to Jim and Pam’s.

 

* * *

 

When Andy left her apartment, Erin had initially collapsed into a crying mess for nearly twenty minutes, banging her head continuously on the wall for at least couple of those and then punching a pillow for another few. She felt like a complete idiot - she just fell right back into the same old thing, proving she hadn’t moved on at all.

 

Why did life have to constantly kick her in the teeth as soon as something good happened to her?

 

She took a massive risk, tried to follow her heart, find what she thought was her happily ever after, and that all turned out to be a mistake that nearly destroyed the lives of everyone involved. And then, just when it seemed like things were getting better again, she got caught up in old feelings that clearly had their claws dug into her far deeper than she wanted to admit or acknowledge.

 

Even after everything that happened, after all the pain and the toil and the stupid mistakes, she couldn't help but run back.

 

To _him._

 

Erin took several deep breaths to steady herself, wiping her eyes as she tried to get a grip on herself. She was not going to wallow in this. She had to take control of the situation.

 

Once she was able to settle down, Erin took a quick shower, freshened up, put on her outfit for the day (a pair of jeans with a pink blouse and dark blue flats), and went over her schedule in her head. She still had about a couple of hours before she had to meet up with her parents for lunch…

 

A thought came to her head, and although it felt just as stupid (and awkward and insane) as every other thought that crossed her mind during the last twenty-four hours, it was probably also the only smart idea too.

 

She took out her phone and texted Pete.

 

_Hey Pete, you awake? I need to see you to ask you something fast_

 

A couple of minutes later, she got a response.

 

_Sure, you can come by. Whats wrong? You ok?_

 

She texted back _I'm fine, I just have to ask you something._ She then rapidly added _It's sort of important._

 

 _Ok, you can swing by_ was Pete's reply.

 

Erin rushed to her car and began the drive to Pete's apartment. She had realized halfway into the drive that she had not eaten anything all morning. Thankfully, there was a cafe nearby, so she took a momentary detour.

 

Thus, when she arrived at Pete's, she held a chocolate croissant in one hand, a big cup of hot chai tea latte in the other, and both hands were shaking from the heavy anxiety.

 

“Good morning, Pete,” Erin said with a big nervous smile.

 

Pete raised an eyebrow at her, knowing the way she was behaving here meant something was not entirely right in Erin-land. He let her into his simple studio apartment nonetheless, and Erin immediately took a seat on his couch, inhaling her croissant and taking a large gulp of tea.

 

“Are you sure you're okay, Erin?” he asked.

 

“You swear you won't freak out if I tell you?” she asked back, a small burp coming out to punctuate her question.

 

“Not exactly reassuring there,” Pete remarked dryly.

 

“Just please promise me you won’t.”

 

“Okay, I promise I won’t freak out. What is it, Erin?” he pressed.

 

Erin set her food and drink down on the table and took a deep breath. “Well, it’s kinda hard to explain but… basically… after the party in the office… I, um, I talked to Andy again, and then… one thing kinda led to another thing, and then, well…”

 

She trailed off, unable to bring herself to say it. The way her face turned red and how she buried it in her hands, looking ashamed, was enough to speak on its own.

 

“You _slept_ with him.”

 

That wasn’t a question.

 

Erin slowly nodded. “I’m really sorry, Pete. I mean, yeah, we’re not dating anymore but I know this is super awkward for you and I wasn’t even thinking last night-”

 

“Why are you telling me this, Erin?” Pete asked. “To be honest, this isn't how I expected to start my Sunday.”

 

“Because I have to ask you something,” Erin replied. “Be honest with me, Pete. At any time when we were dating, did you ever wonder if… I still had feelings for Andy?”

 

Pete nodded and replied, “A lot of times, actually. It… it wasn’t very hard to see.”

 

“Wow…” Erin breathed. “Was I that bad?”

 

“Sometimes, yeah,” he said with a small laugh.

 

Erin sighed, her head still feeling like it was spinning and her thoughts still feeling jumbled. Even after all this time, things were so strange and confusing and there were too many paths and not one of them looked smooth or looked like they’d end well. And, despite her better instincts, she couldn't help but crave one.

 

“You don't mind if I have a cigarette, do you?” she asked, feeling ashamed. “It's been a really stressful day for me and I am just not caring right now.”

 

“No problem,” Pete replied, handing her one. They moved outside to the patio, each lighting up. Erin hated herself for giving into the nicotine craving but it actually really did help right now. She took a few long drags, quietly savoring the taste and the heavy feeling it left in her throat.

 

“I’m sorry, Pete. I… I kinda ruined your life for a while,” Erin said after a moment of silence. “But I’m a life-ruiner, so-”

 

Pete put a hand on her shoulder and gently interrupted, “You’re not a life ruiner, Erin. I… I wasn’t exactly a model of morality during that time either.”

 

“Even still, I…” she trailed off, not knowing where to go with this.

 

“Look,” said Pete, “we had a decent run, and I did like you a lot. But… honestly, our relationship was kinda doomed to begin with. Maybe if things were different, it could’ve worked out. But we have no way of knowing, right? Unless a real-life Rick Sanchez could make a device that can show us our lives in alternate universes.”

 

Erin laughed dryly at that as she put out her cigarette and asked, “You still watch that show?”

 

“Hey! _Rick and Morty_ is awesome!” Pete argued back defensively. “You just don't get its humor style!”

 

“You're right, I really don't, and I don't care to,” Erin admitted. It had its funny moments, but it was just too weird and dark for her tastes.

 

They both laughed, and Erin took a moment to check the time on her phone. Her face fell slightly.

 

“Well, it’s been good talking but I have to go now. I have to meet my parents for lunch,” she said to him.

 

“Of course. Have fun.”

 

“Thanks, Pete. I’ll see you Monday.” They gave each other a quick hug and Erin ran down the stairs to her car to drive off to meet her parents.

 

* * *

 

Andy took in the sights of the nice little suburban neighborhood Jim and Pam would soon be moving out of. It was a great neighborhood for families, the kind with the nice pretty parks full of flowers and trees, playgrounds for the kids to play in, big yards both on the front and back for barbeques and pool parties on the summer holidays.

 

He rang the doorbell, steeling himself. Pam answered, a smile on her face.

 

“Andy, we were expecting you! How’s your day so far?” she asked, giving him a quick hug.

 

“Well, that’s kind of the thing I wanted to talk to you guys about,” Andy answered, returning the hug. “So far, my day’s been a bit… weird, to put it mildly.”

 

Pam immediately frowned at that in confusion. But before she could ask further on that, they were interrupted by the screams of two toddlers.

 

“Uncle Andy!” Cece squealed, running up to him, Phillip not far behind.

 

“Hey, kids, how’re you two today?” Andy asked happily, kneeling down to their level.

 

Cece gave him a hug and replied, “Awesomely!”

 

“That’s good to know! And you, Phillip?”

 

“Awesome possum!” the young boy answered.

 

Pam smiled and said to the kids, “Alright, you two, how about we all go and join Daddy and Uncle Darryl in the backyard, hm?”

 

The little Halperts didn’t need telling twice, both running off to the backyard. As soon as they were out of earshot, the mood became a bit more serious again. Grown-up talk.

 

“So, do they know you’re all going to be moving soon?” Andy asked.

 

“Not yet,” Pam admitted. “We’re trying to figure out how to break it to them as gently as we can.”

 

“Yeah, some kids can take that kind of news alright, but others don’t,” Andy noted with a slightly concerned expression.

 

“Let's not focus on that for now,” Pam said with a wave of the hand. She smiled a little and said, “You and Darryl are leaving tomorrow, so we need to savor the time we've got!”

 

“Yeah, good idea,” Andy agreed. He followed Pam outside to the backyard, seeing Jim and Darryl sitting at a round table with an umbrella in the middle, eating snacks and drinking beers. Cece and Phillip were running around playing with their toys in their playhouse.

 

“Andy!” Darryl greeted cheerily. He got up from his chair and handed Andy a cold bottle of beer from the ice bucket. “Glad you made it in one piece, man. Sure feels like time is slipping away.”

 

Andy graciously accepted the beer and twisted the cap off, taking a quick drink. “Sure does,” he replied wistfully.

 

Andy and Pam took their seats. Pam spoke first, “So, Andy, what exactly did you mean by things being weird for you so far today? Since you wanted to talk with us about it.”

 

“You all promise you’re not going to freak out, right?” Andy asked them. “It’s… kind of crazy stuff.”

 

“Uh huh,” Jim replied with a nod and a small frown. “When you put it like that, then I don’t know if I can make any promises.”

 

“Not really reassuring there, _Tuna_ ,” Andy grumbled, looking into his drink.

 

Darryl, exasperated, said, “Just tell us, Andy. What did you do? It can’t be _that_ bad.”

 

Andy had to laugh at that. Darryl was certainly tempting fate. _‘You have no idea.’_

 

“Okay, since you asked for it… well, last night, after the after-party, Erin and I had a talk, and then a couple drinks, and then stuff happened and then, well… we slept together.”

 

Like Andy had predicted, all three of them did indeed freak out. Darryl at least had the courtesy to turn his face to the side to spit out his drink. Pam herself almost choked on her drink, coughing in pain as she looked at him with shock. Jim didn’t have anything to spit out himself, but his reaction was just as dramatic.

 

“You **_WHAT_ **?!” Jim jumped up from out of his seat, utterly flabbergasted.

 

“Told you you’d freak out,” Andy said with a roll of the eyes.

 

“How did this happen?!” Pam asked, jaw dropped.

 

“How?! I'm wondering _why!_ ” Darryl exclaimed. “Andy, why would you do that?!”

 

“I don’t know!” Andy replied angrily. “The whole thing just started spinning out of control and we couldn’t help ourselves!”

 

“‘Ourselves’?” Pam parroted. “You mean Erin was throwing herself at you?” She had the suspicion that Andy still had unresolved feelings for her, but to know Erin still had them for Andy in spite of everything was a stunning revelation in itself for her.

 

“Not really, we just first started off talking and she told me she appreciated how I… stood up for her with _that_ video, and we just started to reconnect. It just snowballed from there and…”

 

“Okay, we don't need to know the exact specifics,” Jim interrupted, holding a hand up. “But… it's pretty clear you both aren't over each other. Do you have any idea what you're going to do now? Because I don't think this is something you can just sweep under the rug and ignore.”

 

“Well, that’s the thing,” Andy answered. “We don’t know _what_ we’re going to do now.”

 

Darryl cut in, “If you want my honest opinion, Andy, and this is me talking as your friend, I think you might be setting yourself up for heartbreak again here.”

 

“Darryl!” Pam reprimanded in shock, but the other man was not going to be interrupted.

 

“I mean, think about it. Sure, you two liked, well, I guess you still like each other, but you also caused each other problems too. You drove each other crazy and not always in that fun and loving way. Not to mention you two tried your hand at this _twice_ and both times ended badly! And no offense, Andy, but… you _did_ fuck up massively.”

 

“What the hell, Darryl?!” Andy asked indignantly. “I thought you were on my team when all that crap went down last year!”

 

Both Jim and Pam winced, the word ‘team’ conjuring some unpleasant memories of when a small-scale conflict took hold of the office during the height of that particular conflict. Toby, Angela (much to everyone’s surprise, considering her own history), Dwight (again, another surprise), Meredith, and Darryl (of course) all took Andy’s side on this; meanwhile, Phyllis, Nellie, Clark (momentarily driving a wedge between him and Dwight), Kevin, and Val took Erin and Pete’s side. Jim and Pam themselves tried to be in the middle as much as they could. Oscar stayed completely out of it (figuring that he, the “gay mistress” of Angela’s senator husband, was in no position to criticize either side), as was Stanley (though that was more due to him simply not giving a crap either way). Nothing _horrible_ happened, but it was not pleasant to see the fault line drawn over this, the passive-aggressive remarks between both sides, especially the briefly reignited feud between Phyllis and Angela (who had taken to following Andy’s lead in continuously referring to Pete as Plop with an especially venomous tone, even to this day).

 

“Yes,” Darryl said firmly, “I was and always will be on your side, Andy. But come on, you gotta admit… when you came back and you told her that it didn't matter if she wasn't still in love with you as long as one of you was happy was not cool. At all.”

 

Andy felt like he got slapped in the face and went quiet at that, remembering all too well how selfish he had been. And it was here that he realized another dimension to it all - it wasn't just that he abandoned her and then ghosted her, as the kids called it these days. He disregarded her feelings, cared only for himself.

 

Sure, he was always aware on some level that he was selfish. But, as his therapist had said during one of their sessions, self-awareness only went so far; taking action to actually work on getting past it was the next step.

 

“Think about it, Andy,” Darryl said, his tone gentler, “if it was going to work, wouldn’t it have worked by now?”

 

For a moment, all four of them were quiet and an air of sadness took over. Pam then shook her head.

 

“Andy, look at me,” she said firmly. When Andy did, Pam continued, “I’ll admit Darryl has a point. I can see it. But if you want _my_ personal opinion, and this is me kind of speaking from experience… I don't think this is something you should just let slip past you, regardless of… however it ends up.”

 

It didn't escape Andy's notice that one of Pam's hands had started to slide across the table to clasp Jim's hand as she said this. Jim returned the hand holding tenderly, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

 

Andy chuckled and asked, “Should I run across a bed of hot coals like you did, Pam?”

 

That drew a laugh from everyone, even Darryl, who had been the most somber of them. Pam replied, “No, I definitely do not recommend that. In hindsight, I should’ve stuck my feet into the ice chest before I ran across the coals.”

 

“But in all seriousness,” Jim added, “this is something you should really think about. Think about the risks, the pros and cons of whichever options you’ve got. That’s really all you can do here.”

 

Darryl then remarked, “Yeah, think really hard about it. And most important of all, be careful. That was all I was saying there, Andy.”

 

Pam sighed again and said, “No matter what though, Andy, just know that we’ll support you.” She then got up from her chair and motioned for everyone to follow her to the kitchen. “On another note, we should probably get started on the grilling. Don’t know about you, but I’m getting pretty hungry.”

 

“Same here,” Darryl admitted as everyone else got up from their chairs to go to the kitchen, the kids following suit.

 

“Read my mind,” Andy agreed. As he walked on over, he went over everyone’s statements in his mind, reflecting on each one. On one hand, Darryl admittedly had a point; he and Erin had a turbulent history, full of good memories and bad memories, the latter especially marked by their shared inability to communicate clearly and often selfish inability to look beyond their own noses. But on the other hand, Pam and Jim had a point of their own - this was an opportunity, and moreover, Andy _knew_ that a lot of the problems he and Erin had in the past when they tried to make it work before had been remedied in some ways over the course of last year. Maybe they just needed to get into a better place for themselves before they could really make it work.

 

His options were clear - either he could play it safe or he could risk it all.

 

Neither way sounded particularly pleasant, however. And yet, one road sounded especially painful… but also possibly more rewarding…

 

* * *

 

Erin was now starting to regret drinking her tea and eating that chocolate croissant so quickly back at Pete’s. She was also pretty sure the cigarette didn’t help her roiling guts. But she had an obligation she not just needed but _wanted_ to fulfill.

 

A family lunch at one of Scranton’s nicer local restaurants. Admittedly, it was a bit on the “hipster” side, with artistic murals painted on the walls, and it was apparently once an old-time pharmacy before being abandoned in the late 1930s, and it was located in one of those areas currently being spruced up by developers trying to make the once abandoned areas of town look nice and attract new tenants. The food was all organic and locally sourced, which Erin had to admit was a plus; it kinda made it all taste better.

 

 _‘I’ll keep it light. Maybe a salad,’_ she thought to herself as she parked her car.

 

Erin entered the restaurant and saw her parents were already seated. They turned around to wave happily at her, ushering her to sit and join. They both got up out of their chairs as she approached their table.

  
“Mom, Dad!” Erin happily greeted, hugging them both.

 

“Hello, Erin,” Ed greeted back. “Come on, let’s sit. Hope you don’t mind that we got you a glass of water for your drink.”

 

“Don’t mind at all, thank you,” she told him with a smile.

 

Once they took their seats, Erin immediately opened up her menu. Thankfully, the salads actually sounded good. She managed to decide quickly, settling on the spring mix salad with lemon-seasoned salmon and balsamic vinaigrette.

 

Her mind was still occupied, however…

 

“Erin, sweetie,” Joan said gently, shaking Erin out of her musings, “I can tell something is bothering you.”

 

Erin looked up at her mother. “You can tell?”

 

“Well,” said Joan, “I don’t _need_ to be your mother to know that, but it’s easy to see you have something on your mind. You _can_ talk, you know.”

 

“Well… it’s kind of embarrassing, sort of,” Erin admitted.

 

“Nonsense, honey,” said Ed. “We’re your parents. We may not have been around for long, but you shouldn’t be afraid to tell us anything.”

 

Erin smiled a little at that. Even though she only knew them for a couple days, it already felt like a couple years. And even then, she wanted more.

 

Plus, a little parental advice couldn't hurt.

 

“Well, I guess I could tell you,” she said slowly. She took a deep breath to prepare herself and spoke, “Well, basically, we were holding an after-party at the office after Dwight and Angela's wedding and when it was over… I met with Andy again in the parking lot. We were alone and started talking and then, well… _stuff_ kinda happened.”

 

Erin couldn't bring herself to say the rest of it, her face turning red and her hands covering her eyes.

 

Joan was taken aback. “You mean the same Andy who you used to go out with before Pete?”

 

Erin nodded slowly.

 

Ed let out a low whistle and shook his head. “Do… do you still have feelings for him?”

 

Again, she quietly nodded, unable to look at them directly.

 

Joan and Ed looked at each other awkwardly. Neither expected this sort of conversation to happen when they began reconnecting with their long-lost daughter.

 

They were all shaken out of the silence when the waitress, a brunette girl who couldn’t have been older than nineteen, came up to their table.

 

“Hello, everyone! Have you decided what you want to order?” she asked, her voice so overly peppy it jarred the three of them.

 

“Oh, yes,” Erin stammered. “I’ll have the spring mix salad with the salmon and balsamic dressing.”

 

Joan ordered the pesto pasta while Ed got the turkey club sandwiches, and as soon as the waitress left, their conversation resumed.

 

“But, yeah,” Erin said with a small sigh. “I had to deal with a lot of stuff all of last year. That stuff with all those people on the Internet, breaking up with Pete, and trying to… move on from it all.”

“I know, Erin,” Joan said to her sadly, gently clasping her daughter’s hand into her own. “I wish I could’ve been there to help.”

 

“It’s okay,” she told her.

 

“No, it isn’t,” Joan insisted, her hand shaking slightly.

 

Erin continued, “It’s just… I hadn’t talked to him for a whole year and when Andy came back and… I couldn’t help it, I _wanted_ to talk to him, let him know how sorry I was and that I was glad for that time when he defended me…”

 

Ed, who had been quiet through this, then gently said, “Maybe… the past isn’t letting you move on for a reason.”

 

Erin turned around, looking at him quizzically. Ed’s face was somber and his voice cracked slightly as he looked at Erin in the eye and continued talking. “I’ve made many mistakes when I was younger, and I have many regrets.”

 

Erin’s voice shook. “Was having me one of those mistakes?”

 

“Absolutely not,” he replied firmly. “Sure, everyone else would say we made a mistake having you when we were only seventeen and we made the best possible choice we could because we couldn’t give you what you needed… but I never stopped wondering about what could’ve been.”

 

“Same with me,” Joan said soberly, nodding along as she blinked fast to keep herself from crying.

 

A sad silence took over them, the small family that never was. Erin could feel the remorse they radiated, the questions and the wondering. How their choices haunted them to this day, decades later, even when they had moved on with their lives.

 

The circumstances were wildly different, but the parallels were there.

 

“Are you saying I should… get back together with him?” Erin asked slowly, her voice choking up slightly.

 

Ed shook his head and said, “Not at all, Erin. All I’m saying is that you should not do what you know you’ll regret more later.”

 

 _‘What I’ll regret more later,’_ Erin parroted in her thoughts as she took this in, contemplating the choices she had ahead of her.

 

Both sounded painful in their own ways. On one hand, she could run the risk of possibly ripping old wounds open again. On the other, she would have to live with a dull ache for the rest of her life, constantly wondering about the road not taken.

 

Joan then said, “Come on now, honey,” her voice cutting through Erin’s thoughts. “How about you think on that later? Right now, our food is coming and we have the whole day ahead of us.”

 

The waitress indeed was heading for them, carrying a large tray with three plates of food on top.

 

Erin gladly took her food with a smile. For the rest of the afternoon, she and her parents continued making up for lost time, bonding over the _How to Train Your Dragon_ sequel (for some reason, Toothless the dragon reminded her a lot of Angela’s black cat Otis), shopping, and a round of miniature golf. It was fun and happy, and nothing heavy weighed on her mind through it.

 

Of course, it still was there, following her, periodically reminding her she couldn’t put it off forever.

 

Maybe that was why it felt like time was flying by too fast for her liking.

 

She dropped them off back to their respective hotels with a goodbye hug and a kiss, each dispensing their own advice to her.

 

Before he got out, Ed repeated his advice from earlier, to not live with regrets.

 

Joan herself quantified it before she left the car, saying, “Sometimes, the harder choice gives out the greater rewards.”

 

It was now 6 PM. And Erin was still as confused as ever. She laid down on her bed, reflecting on the last twenty-four hours and what that meant for the future for more than a few minutes.

 

She then texted Jim, Pam, and Darryl, asking each of them for Andy's number. She had lost it when she had to change her phone number.

 

Within three minutes, every one of them responded with the same number.

 

She sent a single text to him. Once it was sent, she grabbed her lavender colored hoodie and purse, left her apartment, got into her car, and began to drive.

 

* * *

 

“I know what to do,” Andy declared.

 

Everyone stared at him with surprise momentarily, eyes widened slightly and eyebrows raised.

 

“Do you now?” Jim asked.

 

Andy nodded.

 

“You sure you're making the right choice?” Darryl pressed.

 

“Yes, Darryl,” he replied, a tone of exasperation lacing his voice.

 

“Have you thought about what you would do if… she doesn't want the same thing?” Pam asked.

 

Andy momentarily thought about that. In truth, the thought had crossed his mind but…

 

“I don’t think that’ll happen.”

 

“But what if it does?” she pressed.

 

Before Andy could answer, Jim, Pam, and Darryl’s phones all went off at the same time. Darryl checked his and his eyes widened.

 

“What’s happening? Is everything okay?” Andy asked with concern.

 

“It’s… a text from Erin,” Jim answered. “She lost your number and is asking us for it because she needs it to text you.”

 

In that second, time stopped for Andy, his stomach flipping over, heart skipping a beat and his brain going blank. And just as immediately, he shook himself out of that and said, “Well, don’t just sit there! Text her my number!”

 

All three of them immediately did so, typing furiously at their phones to text Erin Andy’s number.

 

“What do you think it means?” Darryl asked once he sent his text out.

 

“Well, obviously she wants to talk to him at least,” Pam replied in a matter-of-fact tone.

 

Andy’s own phone then beeped. He looked down at it, seeing the text was from a number he didn’t recognize. He looked up at Jim, Pam, and Darryl, who simultaneously nodded. He opened it up and read it.

 

_Hi Andy, this is Erin. New number. Meet me on the roof of the office at 7. We need to talk._

 

“Can one of you drive me over to the office at seven?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Getting ever closer to the end! I've been having such fun with this! :)
> 
> I decided to make Erin the product of a teenage pregnancy since I figured it was the most logical reason why her parents would have given her up (and for her health issues, as detailed on her Wiki entry). And on a sillier note, I kinda have a hard time seeing her like Rick and Morty; seems way too nihilistic for her. And in a case of the silly stuff, I gave Angela a black cat named Otis, who's based on my own black cat that's named Otis. And Toothless really does look like a black cat with wings. XD


	7. The Heart is a Dumb-Dumb

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Andy and Erin discuss the future and make a decision.

Maybe there was a version of this story where they didn’t follow their gut feelings. Where they didn’t reach out to one another and reconnect in spite of all their internal objections. Where they simply drifted away and never spoke to each other again and continued to move on with their lives, or at least tried to.

And it would make perfect sense if this story went that way.

But here, Andy was not going to be in that version. And if that text meant what he hoped it did, neither was Erin.

As soon as Jim parked the Halpert family SUV outside the office building, Andy ran up the stairs, reaching the rooftop in about a minute. As expected, Erin was there, sitting on a chair and looking off in the distance. There was a second vacant chair next to her, as well as a tiny circular table in the middle.

It was good to see at least one thing, the little relaxing chairs on the rooftop, didn't change.

She turned around and saw him, an anxious smile crossing her face. “You came.”

“I had to,” Andy replied with a shrug and an equally anxious smile. “No way I could leave it hanging like this.”

He took the seat next to her, something catching his eye. She was carrying a large bottle of something wrapped in a brown paper bag.

“Were you drinking wine right out of the bottle?” he asked with a small disbelieving laugh.

“Yeah,” Erin admitted, looking slightly embarrassed. “I prefer drinking it this way over pouring it into a glass. Is that weird?”

“Maybe a little. But hey, I'm not going to judge. In fact, I'll have some,” Andy replied. She handed him the bottle, which he proceeded to take and chug a couple large gulps. The cooling sensation and tart citrus taste of white wine ran down his throat, the alcohol loosening him up a little.

For a few minutes, they simply sat there, quietly taking turns sipping on the bottle. It was depleted quickly, and soon they had nothing else to do but to finally talk.

“The heart is a dumb-dumb,” Erin bemoaned, being the first to break the silence.

“That it is,” Andy replied with a dry and nervous laugh.

“And none of our choices sound good either,” Erin added, gazing downwards. “I mean, we _could_ just act like this never happened, or…”

She couldn't bring herself to say it.

“And no matter which way we go, there is sadness, regret and pain waiting for us down the road,” Andy finished.

An uncomfortable and grim silence took hold. Andy hated these awkward silences. They both knew the depths of the torture they could put themselves and each other through. The way they pushed and pulled at each other, unable to stop. They each had the unique ability to both uplift and destroy one another in ways others would never be able to match. The past had been so turbulent, with highs, lows, and pain and bliss, sweeping them up and throwing them around like they were the helpless victims of a massive tornado. They were damned if they did, and damned if they didn’t.

And yet…

“But honestly,” Andy finally said, voice cutting through the strain of the quiet, “I’ve spent all of last year telling myself that it was over, but… I never could make myself really believe it was. Everything from last night proved that, and there's no way I could believe that after this. The self-help books barely helped back then and they definitely won't do anything now.” His voice was dry and bitter as he recounted this.

Erin nodded and slowly got up out of her chair. She turned westward to face the setting sun, taking in the sight of the mixture of bright shades of orange and deep purple and blue across the sky. If it could rain right now, it would feel like a cleansing.

“Me too,” she slowly said. “I've been thinking about… what I would regret doing more. And it sounds really scary, but… I feel like I would regret it more if I don't take the chance.”

Andy got up out of his seat and stood next to her, looking out to the horizon. His heart was pumping faster than he ever felt it go before, his throat was tight and his guts coiled around themselves with heavy and conflicting emotions - dread, anxiety, excitement, hope, fear, optimism, and so many others, all at the same time.

“So… what do you think?” he asked slowly. “Do you think we could… give this another shot?”

Erin silently nodded, her eyes squeezed tightly shut. And ever so slowly, her hand moved closer to his, trembling hard with unease. Her pinky finger grazed against his and their fingers gradually interlocked.

Without saying it, they affirmed it.

“I want to,” Erin replied, turning to look at him. Her voice was shaking and her eyes were slightly watery as she stammered, “But… I’m scared. I'm _really_ scared, Andy.”

Andy nodded, turning towards her, an expression of dread etched across his own face. “I know. I'm scared too.”

And yet, they couldn’t run away from it.

After all, bravery wasn’t measured by fearlessness but by standing strong in the face of frightening odds.

“You have to go back to Ithaca tomorrow morning. How are we even going to make this work?” Erin asked.

He thought for a few seconds about his answer, going over everything he’d done wrong previously. He couldn’t repeat those mistakes again.

“I'll do whatever I have to,” Andy answered, taking her other hand into his, gripping them firmly. “I'll call you every day, five times a day if you want me to, and I'll visit every weekend, even if I broke every bone in my body somehow.”

“You would do that?”

“Absolutely yes. I made a lot of mistakes before, and I won’t repeat them again. I swear that to you. To _us_.”

That was certainly reassuring and Erin could tell he was being honest. But it still didn’t quite stem the feeling of dread deep in the pit of her belly. The feeling that there was a dark, destructive storm on the horizon ready to wreck their boat and drown them in the watery abyss.

“We’re really doing this, aren’t we?” Erin asked, her voice trembling with anxiety as the realization of what they were doing now was fully dawning on her.

Andy nodded. The lump in his throat caused his voice to come out an equally anxious croak as he replied, “Yeah. We are.”

“Oh _farts_ …”

Andy would’ve laughed at that, but he couldn’t right now; not when things were so serious. She expressed it perfectly.

Erin continued, “We’re going to do this, even though we both know that there’s this horrible, soul-crushing pain waiting for us and it could come in a month or twenty years, and we’re heading right for it.”

“Maybe there is,” Andy nodded. He then added, “Or… maybe it might not be there.”

He gently put his hands on her shoulders, prompting her to look at him. She could see just a little fear there, but also a hardened resolve. She had never seen such a serious look on him before.

“Maybe that pain is there waiting for us, but I’d rather take the chance with you than let this slip past me,” he said to her with utter sincerity. “And… I don’t care how high the chances of this failing are. If it does fail, then at least we’ll know for sure it really isn’t meant to be because we at least actually _tried_ this time around. I took you for granted before, Erin, and I will not do that again.”

Her only reply to that was to kiss him. Andy returned it in full. In that kiss, they poured it all out - their hopes, their dreams, the relief, the anticipation, the fears, and everything else in between. They both clung to one another for dear life, as if some divine being or fate or the universe itself could tear them away from each other again somehow at any minute, with Erin holding one hand at the back of Andy’s head as he held her close.

And as they (reluctantly) parted away to catch their breaths, foreheads leaned against the other’s, Andy breathed, “God, I was such a moron to take this for granted.”

“I was too,” Erin replied. “We were both total morons. But I want to get smarter. With you.”

They kissed again, just as feverishly as the last time and Andy could feel the tears that streamed from her eyes, the regrets and the desperation. This wasn’t the first time he’d made her cry, but it was the first time the sight of it didn’t leave him feeling like the worst human to ever exist.

As much as they wanted to stay on the roof like this, they couldn’t. The night was beginning to set in and the hours would tick by quick. After a few minutes of catching their breaths, comprehending what just happened, Erin wiped her eyes and smiled widely at him, and it was peaceful, warming and sweet.

“So,” Erin began, “we have all night before you have to go back to Ithaca tomorrow morning. How do you want to spend it?”

“I don't care what we do, as long as I can spend it with you. I'm leaving it up to you.”

Erin laughed. “You're actually letting me decide?”

“I know you can come up with something good.”

Erin went quiet, trying to figure out what to do. After a moment, she remembered something.

“How about we get Chinese food and watch _Monty Python and the Holy Grail_ ?” she asked. “That way, when I come to visit to see your group’s first showing of _Spamalot_ , I'll know the jokes.”

Andy grinned at that and replied, “That sounds like an awesome idea to me.”

Taking each other’s hand, they strolled on, through the door and the stairway, passing by the Dunder Mifflin office, by Vance Refrigeration, by the old room that once served as Cafe Disco, now turned into a storage room full of supplies (“What have they done to Cafe Disco?!” Andy yelled in indignation.), by the lobby and out to the parking lot. Erin’s eyes widened when she saw a familiar car. Pulling Andy along, they ran towards it and saw it was indeed who she thought.

“Jim? Pam? Darryl? Have you guys been hanging out here this whole time?!” Erin asked in shock.

“Uh, maybe,” Darryl admitted sheepishly.

“In our defense, we didn't know what was going to go down and we figured we needed to, you know, be supportive in case the worst happened,” Pam argued.

Andy let out a snorting laugh. “You guys are too nice sometimes. Like… a bunch of nice cinnamon rolls.”

“Cinnamon rolls? That’s what you think we are?” Pam asked with a laugh.

“Yeah,” replied Erin, “because you’re all sweet and warm!”

“I don’t mind that actually,” Darryl nodded. “Cinnamon rolls are amazing.”

“Seriously though,” Jim interjected, his tone more serious as he turned to Andy and Erin, looking at their intertwined hands. “You two are really going to do this? You are absolutely positively sure you can do it?”

“Yes, Jim, we are doing this. And we’re going to do it right this time,” Andy declared, squeezing Erin’s hand a little tighter, which she reciprocated.

“You had better,” Darryl told them sternly. “I don't want to deal with another messy breakup and being your shoulder to cry on, Andy.”

“You were a good support system in those days, Darryl, and I greatly appreciated it,” Andy replied sincerely. “But you don't need to worry. Promise.”

Pam nodded and added, “Well, I hope you do get it right this time and stay together permanently. You both deserve to be happy more than anything.”

Erin smiled. “Thanks, Pam. And I hope you and Jim can make it work with Athlead and the traveling. I'm going to miss you guys a lot.”

“We won't be leaving right away,” Jim pointed out. “We still need to pack up our stuff and find a new place for ourselves, so it'll be at least a month before we go.”

“I'm invited to the goodbye party, right?” Andy asked.

“Of course you are,” Pam answered.

“Promise me that you'll all keep in touch, got it?” Darryl added. “Our lives might've changed, but we gotta stick together as much as possible.”

“Come on,” Erin said with a big smile and open arms. “We gotta do a group hug.”

Jim laughed in slight exasperation. “That is so cheesy.”

“Group hug!” Andy cheered. “Group hug!”

The five of them all laughed, getting into a circle as they huddled together in a group hug. This was a bond that would endure.

“Alright,” Pam said as the huggers let go and dispersed. “We should all probably go home. It's going to be a big day tomorrow and you two,” she pointed at Andy and Erin, “should spend as much time as you can together tonight.”

“That's the plan,” Erin replied with a nod.

“Alright, you two have fun,” Darryl said. “But don’t go too crazy. I still can’t believe the documentary crew cut out that time you went on a shopping cart race with Ryan and Kelly.”

Jim and Pam looked at each other and then over at Erin and Andy with confused expressions as the other couple nervously laughed, deciding they didn’t want to know the details of whatever that was.

“Alright, though, seriously, we have to get going,” Jim pointed out. He and Darryl then gave Andy a quick handshake before getting into the SUV, Pam waving goodbye. “We’ll see you around. Goodnight, you two!”

“Goodnight!” Andy and Erin said to the others in unison, before laughing slightly at what just happened.

As the SUV drove off, Andy and Erin looked at each other and grinned. They were going to make the most of this night.

“Come on!” she said, running to her car. He followed and once they were close, Erin quickly threw her keys to him. He caught them in his hands and looked at her quizzically.

“You drive,” she told him with a smile and wink.

“Okay, sure,” he replied, taking the driver’s side.

As Andy started up the car and began driving out of the parking lot, Erin turned on the radio, ending up on a pop station. [A new song was just starting.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mIMMZQJ1H6E) A little synth line, some hints of guitar, slow build up. And then a woman began singing.

 _Don't look ahead, there's stormy weather_ _  
_ _Another roadblock in our way_ _  
_ _But if we go, we go together  
__Our hands are tied here if we stay_

 _Oh, we said our dreams will carry us  
_ _And if they don't fly we will run  
_ _Now we push right past to find out_  
 _Or either win what they have lost_

_Oh ah, oh ah_   
_We know now we won't go_   
_Oh ah, oh ah_   
_Our lives worth fighting for_

As the song went on, Erin raised an eyebrow. She then looked at Andy, who seemed to be thinking the same thing. It was weird how that song seemed to really fit their situation. It was like some sort of freaky coincidence that it just happened to come on right now.

And the lyrics did fit. No doubt there was stormy weather ahead. No doubt there would be bumps in the road.

But they would face them together, and be stronger for it.

Their first stop was the Panda Express. Andy ordered himself a plate of chow mein with orange chicken and Beijing beef while Erin got herself a bowel with fried rice and sweet-fire chicken. Their next destination was her apartment, and as they drove, Erin did something a little… bold for her.

Her hand was snaking up his leg, a coy little grin on her face.

“Is that why you asked me to drive?” Andy asked her with a raised eyebrow. Not that he minded this, as long as she wasn’t going out of her way to distract him from the road.

“Maybe,” she answered in a sing-song voice.

They reached her apartment quickly and Andy opened up the Amazon app on her TV to buy (not rent, _buy_ ) _Monty Python and the Holy Grail_ for their viewing pleasure.

Needless to say, she enjoyed every minute of it. The stand-outs for her were, of course, the Black Knight, the “bring out your dead” scene (as morbid as it was), and the Camelot song (which Andy fully threw himself into singing with aplomb).

The rest of the night had passed into a blur, between driving out to Andy's hotel, taking a detour to the gas station to pick up booze and sweets, and helping him pack up his stuff, which was a fairly small load. So they decided to spend the rest of the night simply being together. No distractions, electronic or otherwise.

The sex was a lot less frantic than last night, even with their limited time. But that was nice in its own way. Even though they both had their own worries for the future, they wouldn’t, couldn’t let that ruin their enjoyment for the now, for tonight. Unhurried, soft, and intimate, they took their time exploring each other, savoring the taste and feel of one another for over an hour. When they finished, it was less a jolt of pleasure and aftershocks following, but more like waves of heat pulsing through their bodies, Erin curling her toes hard enough to nearly make her foot cramp and Andy shivering down from the top of his head all the way down to his spine.

After collapsing on to the soft hotel bed, Andy fluffed up the pillows as Erin took a moment to catch her breath. Though both were completely exhausted and satisfied, neither wanted to fall asleep yet. They snuggled up close, relaxing into each other's embrace, occasionally pecking each other's lips and faces with little kisses and soft caresses. Erin then yawned, tracing a finger over Andy's bare chest. He saw that she looked to be deep in thought.

“What’s wrong?” he asked her, concerned.

“I don’t know,” she replied. “I guess… I’m just still wrapping my head around this. What's happened and all.”

“Yeah, I get what you mean. I mean, what were the odds?” Andy noted.

What were the odds, indeed? This could’ve gone any number of ways, yet here they were.

“You know what, though?” Erin asked.

“What?”

“Even though I'm still scared, at the same time, I feel… hopeful.”

He smiled a little at that and replied, "Me too."

Andy then plugged his phone into the charger and checked the time. "We should probably go to sleep now. My flight leaves pretty early tomorrow." He set up the alarm clock and got up to turn the lights off before rejoining her.

Nodding, Erin cuddled up closer to him and closed her eyes, falling into a restful slumber, dreaming of the future, Andy following her quickly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gah, sorry to my readers for being long on this! Between IRL obligations and other writing projects (that my newest story should give you a hint as to what they contain...), I was kinda taking time, but I hope the wait was worth it! I hope it's fluffy enough but not too sappy, heh.
> 
> The song should be familiar to anyone that's seen at least the first episode of You're the Worst. It's one of my favorites. The chapter title is also a shoutout to an episode of that show. (Yeah, if you can't tell already, I really love You're the Worst. It's a great show and it really needs more love honestly.)


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